Critique my PS pleease

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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doyouevenlift

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Critique my PS pleease

Post by doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:26 pm

.
Last edited by doyouevenlift on Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:42 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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red52

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by red52 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:48 pm

aware

doyouevenlift

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:52 pm

you're aware of my concern? is this a big issue, or do people get by on concentrating on stories which inspired them. I dont want this to be a resume.

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red52

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by red52 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 7:59 pm

no sorry, "do you even lift?" is a slogan on a very popular internet forum, and people of whom are aware of these forums say "aware" to identify with each other. I apologize for responding, I just thought you would know what I was talking about. My apologies.

eleemosynary2

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by eleemosynary2 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:27 pm

mirin

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doyouevenlift

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:38 pm

haha its all good i know what you're talking about. I wasn't even thinking

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msblaw89

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by msblaw89 » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:48 pm

It sounds like you are trying too hard.You try to use alot of flowery language that just doesn't make sense. You have several misplaced modifiers and some verb tense issues. Try to get rid of passive voice. You do not talk nearly enough about why you want to study the law, and way too much about some riot. You can sum up most of what you said in about 3 sentences. Give a short background of the context, then go into explaining why and how that experience shaped your interests and why you think law school is right for you

doyouevenlift

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Re: Critique my PS pleease

Post by doyouevenlift » Thu Nov 15, 2012 8:56 pm

Ah thank you for the advice, you are right.

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