PS opening seems a bit contrived. Forum
- desiballa21
- Posts: 446
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 10:33 pm
PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Is this generally a no-no? Re-reading it and the situation seems a bit contrived though it actually did happen. Best to go in another direction, maybe? Thoughts?
- rinkrat19
- Posts: 13922
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Can't tell without reading it, but a lot of times people try to put TOO much emotion into their PSes, particularly the intros, and they end up sounding very pearl-clutchingly, hand-wringingly dramatic. It may be that the event is fine but your language is over the top.
- desiballa21
- Posts: 446
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 10:33 pm
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?
- rinkrat19
- Posts: 13922
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 5:35 am
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
Sure.desiballa21 wrote:Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?
- eyescream
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2012 3:47 pm
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
I don't mind taking a look at it. Feel free to shoot me a PM, too.
- desiballa21
- Posts: 446
- Joined: Sat Sep 25, 2010 10:33 pm
Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.
PM'd. thanks.
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