PS opening seems a bit contrived. Forum

desiballa21 · Post by **desiballa21** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:21 pm

Is this generally a no-no? Re-reading it and the situation seems a bit contrived though it actually did happen. Best to go in another direction, maybe? Thoughts?

rinkrat19 · Post by **rinkrat19** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:23 pm

Can't tell without reading it, but a lot of times people try to put TOO much emotion into their PSes, particularly the intros, and they end up sounding very pearl-clutchingly, hand-wringingly dramatic. It may be that the event is fine but your language is over the top.

desiballa21 · Post by **desiballa21** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:27 pm

Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?

rinkrat19 · Post by **rinkrat19** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 9:31 pm

desiballa21 wrote:Mind reading the intro quick if I PM you it?

Sure.

eyescream · Post by **eyescream** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:05 pm

I don't mind taking a look at it. Feel free to shoot me a PM, too.

desiballa21 · Post by **desiballa21** » Sat Oct 13, 2012 10:10 pm

PM'd. thanks.

PS opening seems a bit contrived. Forum

PS opening seems a bit contrived.

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Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.

Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.

Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.

Re: PS opening seems a bit contrived.

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