Writer Seeks Your Success Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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jamespshelley

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Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by jamespshelley » Tue Oct 09, 2012 5:52 pm

Lets try that again...

I've authored, and assisted with authoring (including revision/editing/proofing) greater than 850 Personal Statements/Statements of Purpose/and Personal Essays. A significant majority of those efforts were for doctors seeking medical residency opportunities in the United States. A majority of those doctors employed ESL.

In an effort to serve a greater population of candidates, those seeking opportunities in a particular profession, I have chosen students who are seeking admission to law school. I didn't continue my pursuit of the study of law, but now find myself desiring to assist those seeking participation in that noble profession.

I won't go into a lengthy diatribe about personal statements... as there exists this wonderful forum. The purpose of this post is to encourage you, the candidate for law school, to present me with your current personal statement. To that end I will perform a comprehensive proof to include the identification of errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, and syntax. I also will include my suggestions and recommendations towards improving your statement, so that your chances for being recognized from a sea of applicants are increased. I want you to receive an acceptance letter!

That being said... I welcome the opportunity to assist you in your endeavors. My preliminary analysis is FREE! What you do with my suggestions and recommendations entirely is up to you.

I may be reached at SPAM

Thank you for the opportunity.

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thelaststraw05

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Re: Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by thelaststraw05 » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:26 pm

I'm guessing your post being marked as spam had more to do with the fact that it is spam than because you didn't put spaces in your email.

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dingbat

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Re: Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by dingbat » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:34 pm

jamespshelley wrote:Lets try that again...

I've authored, and assisted with authoring (including revision/editing/proofing) greater than 850 Personal Statements/Statements of Purpose/and Personal Essays. A significant majority of those efforts were for doctors seeking medical residency opportunities in the United States. A majority of those doctors employed ESL.

In an effort to serve a greater population of candidates, those seeking opportunities in a particular profession, I have chosen students who are seeking admission to law school. I didn't continue my pursuit of the study of law, but now find myself desiring to assist those seeking participation in that noble profession.

I won't go into a lengthy diatribe about personal statements... as there exists this wonderful forum. The purpose of this post is to encourage you, the candidate for law school, to present me with your current personal statement. To that end I will perform a comprehensive proof to include the identification of errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, and syntax. I also will include my suggestions and recommendations towards improving your statement, so that your chances for being recognized from a sea of applicants are increased. I want you to receive an acceptance letter!

That being said... I welcome the opportunity to assist you in your endeavors. My preliminary analysis is FREE! What you do with my suggestions and recommendations entirely is up to you.

I may be reached at SPAM

Thank you for the opportunity.
Considering how wooden this statement is, I'd be very wary of asking you to "perform a comprehensive proof to include the identification of errors in spelling, grammar, punctuation, and syntax", especially in light of the spelling, grammar, punctuation and syntax that I picked up

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thelaststraw05

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Re: Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by thelaststraw05 » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:41 pm

Especially given that personal statements should generally be written in a conversational tone. I'm guessing this advertisement would be better received if it mirrored the conversational tone which law schools expect of top applicants.

Davidbentley

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Re: Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by Davidbentley » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:45 pm

This sounds like the prelude to a nigerian email scam.

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Cerebro

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Joined: Thu Aug 09, 2012 9:22 pm

Re: Writer Seeks Your Success

Post by Cerebro » Tue Oct 09, 2012 6:52 pm

jamespshelley wrote:What you do with my suggestions and recommendations entirely is up to you.
Don't tempt me.

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