A little help? Forum
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Anonymous User
- Posts: 432111
- Joined: Tue Aug 11, 2009 9:32 am
A little help?
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Last edited by Anonymous User on Wed Oct 10, 2012 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Spritzpiggy
- Posts: 229
- Joined: Mon Jul 09, 2012 9:57 am
Re: A little help?
Hey there! Nice PS. You are very good with descriptions and I almost feel as though I am in Vietnam with you (completely jealous btw). I enjoyed reading this but I do have a few suggestions for you.
Forst, In the PS you say "shear" fear but I believe you intended to say "sheer" fear:
Sheer:
a. Completely such, without qualification or exception: sheer stupidity; sheer happiness.
b. Free from admixture or adulterants; unmixed: sheer alcohol. See Synonyms at pure.
c. Considered or operating apart from anything else: got the job through sheer persistence.
Also, the final part about your paper with publications and many downloads seems like straight-up bragging, and thats not how you want to come off to an Adcom. Leave that to your resume or tie it in better. My other suggestion is more difficult withoug really changing the PS, but here goes. Tell me a little more about something that changed or challenged you - I feel like I have learned very little about your personality here. I know you love to travel and are adventurous, but I feel as though you likely encountered some challenging situations on your travels. I would love to hear about those (or more about you at all) and less of a description of this single memory.
Anyways, I hope this is helpful for you
Best of luck!
Forst, In the PS you say "shear" fear but I believe you intended to say "sheer" fear:
Sheer:
a. Completely such, without qualification or exception: sheer stupidity; sheer happiness.
b. Free from admixture or adulterants; unmixed: sheer alcohol. See Synonyms at pure.
c. Considered or operating apart from anything else: got the job through sheer persistence.
Also, the final part about your paper with publications and many downloads seems like straight-up bragging, and thats not how you want to come off to an Adcom. Leave that to your resume or tie it in better. My other suggestion is more difficult withoug really changing the PS, but here goes. Tell me a little more about something that changed or challenged you - I feel like I have learned very little about your personality here. I know you love to travel and are adventurous, but I feel as though you likely encountered some challenging situations on your travels. I would love to hear about those (or more about you at all) and less of a description of this single memory.
Anyways, I hope this is helpful for you
Best of luck!
