Personal Statement would love feedback Forum

[Burne182]

Removed this draft, will rework and post again.

Thanks for the feedback, I really appreciate it.

[CorkBoard]

You are basically just reiterating the facts of the case, which doesn't tell me anything about you.

[Dany]

The paragraph about the rape was uncomfortable to read, and having a list of bad things you've done isn't really portraying you in the best light to an admissions committee. Additionally, it seems more about the trial and not you.

I understand this is probably a very important event that has happened to you, but I don't think it's appropriate for a personal statement. I think something about being a woman at the Naval Academy could be very interesting and compelling, but probably not centered around this particular instance.

[Liquox]

you sound like a brave lady. restructure your ps. the beginning leaves people with an uncomfortable feeling that overpowers the point in the end.

good luck

[Burne182]

OK, thanks so much for the help.