I am looking for constructive criticism on my PS. This is a first rough draft, and I know the quotes aren't attributed, but they will be in my final draft. Thanks for the help!
Conventionality is not morality. Self-righteousness is not religion. To attack the first is not to assail the last.
How had I arrived at this point? Sitting on the cold, tile floor of my kitchen, I leaned against the
white refrigerator. Opening my eyes, I surveyed my empty apartment. Another wave of hysteria and
tears threatened to overwhelm my senses. Infidelity on the part of my fiancée had led to a rather
acrimonious separation. Unexpectedly, he had made the decision to move across the country with his
new girlfriend and had cleaned out our apartment, taking all of the furniture. My Volkswagen Beetle was
in the repair shop. I had no vehicle. The money that was left in our joint bank account totaled less than
$100.00. My family was 1,693 miles away in Fort Payne, Alabama. I had never felt so utterly alone.
Following the pathway of conventionality was what had led to me this point in my life. However,
rather than heeding the instructions of those who had my best interests at heart, I had chosen to pursue
the conventionality of a lifestyle that was directly opposed to the values and morals of the Christian
home in which I was raised. My parents are both successful business professionals, and I never wanted
for anything I needed. I was educated in private, Christian schools. In short, I was equipped with
everything that I needed to succeed in life.
The things I valued, at eighteen, were things that my parents could not provide me with. I
valued popularity, acceptance, my own physical beauty, and other similar things. For example, I had won
significant academic scholarships to Austin Peay State University; however, because I valued my social
standing, more than academia, I soon lost my scholarships, due to poor grades. Poor decision making on
my part led to abusive relationships, my decision to drop out of college, and an ill-advised move across
the country to take a job that held little in the way of potential growth. I knew I was making the wrong
decisions, but rather than face reality, I chose to ignore my conscious by seeking solace in the bottom of
a bottle and through drug usage. For me, this cold and dirty floor, like the bed of a vast ocean, was the
bottom.
I can so clearly distinguish between the criminal and his crime; I can so sincerely forgive the first while I abhor the last.
It was with no small amount of trepidation that I picked up the phone to call my parents. The
prodigal daughter was asking to return home. Without hesitation, my parents spent hours of their own
time and thousands of dollars to ensure that I was able to return to Alabama. While my parents did not
condone my actions in the past, I was their child, and they loved me. If I ever knew persons who were
the embodiment of the Mahatma Ghandi quote “Hate the sin. Love the sinner”, it is my parents.
In those hours I spend on the floor of my kitchen, the embers of a flame began to spark inside of
me. I knew I wanted to be a different person. I knew I was capable of more than what I had produced at
that point. Setting my pride aside, I moved back in with my parents. I began attending a local community
college, where tuition was affordable. I concentrated solely on academia, and, within a year, I graduated
from Northeast Community College with a 3.63 GPA and an associate’s degree in hand. At the same
time, I started my own freelance writing business, called Wright Writers, with an emphasis in social
media marketing. I now employ several individuals part time, and Wright Writers is on track to double
our revenue from last year.
After graduating from Northeast Community College, I chose to attend the University of South
Alabama to pursue my bachelor’s degree in criminal justice. At this school, I have won recognition for
my efforts by being inducted in a national honors society. Currently, I hold a 3.53 GPA, and I had the
privilege of interning with the Mobile District Attorney’s office the second semester of my junior year. I
have tasted the success that comes with hard work, and I am hungry for more.
As hopeless as that night on the kitchen floor seemed, I learned a number of valuable lessons. I
have learned to remain humble, without allowing my pride to obscure my perception of what is truly
important. I know how to stand steadfast in the face of adversity. When I see something I want, I will
refuse to back down until I have exhausted my last option for recourse. I know these qualities will assist
me in succeeding in law school, just as they have helped me rise above my turbulent undergraduate
years.
Prejudices, it is well known, are most difficult to eradicate from the heart whose soil has never been loosened or fertilized by education.
For the past three years, I have worked as the head of my own company. In courting clients, I
have honed my communication skills. Through the freelance copywriting that I do, I have learned to get
my point across in a clear and concise manner. My analytical abilities have allowed me to develop the
ability to translate and condense volumes of information without sacrificing quality over quantity. I
know these skills will be invaluable in becoming a better law student.
I could have been written off as a loss to society, but through the faith of my family and a few,
select friends, I have overcome the obstacles I created for myself. Whether or not a person can be
redeemed in society will depend largely on the course of action they choose; however, I choose to
fertilize the soil of my heart, through continuing education at this university, so that I might not be
prejudiced against those who, like me, can be transformed. When I look at my present circumstances,
the question is no longer “How did I get here?”. Instead, it is “Where am I going?”
