Medical GPA addendum Forum

[PHXMKVI]

Hi guys, two of the schools I applied to asked for a GPA addendum due to GPA/LSAT split. MY UGPA is 2.8 due to two major medical circumstances that happened while completing my undergrad coursework in only three years. I was hoping to have it reviewed but I would like to submit it by tomorrow if you all wouldn't mind critiquing it for me:

"To Whom It May Concern:

During my three years at ______ I experienced two major medical circumstances that affected my overall performance during my undergraduate education. In December of 2008 I was diagnosed with two internal iliac artery aneurysms during my sophomore and first year due to a roll over automobile accident. The aneurysm itself required surgery in which two stents were placed in the aneurysm and required constant monitoring. I had to travel from ____ to ______ on a monthly basis for scans and monitoring from my surgeon. The surgery restricted blood flow to the left side of my body which made performing simple tasked such as walking more than a few feet extremely painful. The recovery was lengthy and required me to be transported form my dormitory to my classes which negatively affected my class attendance and performance. The monthly traveling, year and a half recovery and transportation caused adjustment to higher education and a new living environment extremely difficult.
The second incident I experienced was during March of 2009 during my final year at _______, while in London, England. There, I was diagnosed with a staph infection that required surgery. While recovery in the UK was short, the incision became infected and I was forced to have four more surgeries in Paris, France before returning to the United States for treatment. These factors, I believe contributed to my low GPA due to spending the majority of my three years at University in recovery. These medical instances were abnormal for me and a hurdle that I had to overcome during my education. I believe my accomplishments post-graduation described in my personal statement are more akin to my abilities. These medical circumstances became an opportunity for me to overcome adversity and since graduation I have participated in three marathon events for charities including breast and prostate cancer, as well as suicide prevention. Medical documentation for both experiences can be provided at request."


I've read a few on the forum already and people differ on length preference but Boalt says two paragraphs and I felt I needed the space to fully explain both circumstances. Is this any good or should I scrap the whole thing and start over? Thanks for any help.