Please edit this paragraph in my Why XXX essay Forum

[Blue Ivy]

.

[Yeshia90]

But this doesn't have anything to do with why you want to get in to the porn industry...

[Kikero]

You need a "to" after "consumers."

I agree that it's a little wordy, but it's not grammatically incorrect. I might switch it to:

Developing my skill of writing complex legal contracts and proposals, coupled with instruction from the highly competent professors at Seattle University School of Law will be invaluable to my "blank" (goal, desire, etc.) of working with financial institutions and consumers to find agreeable solutions in loan default situations.

That's just me personally though, it's still just as wordy but it seems less...choppy?

Overall it looks good to me though (although I am but a lowly 0L).

[icecold3000]

1. extremely verbose
2. "Bank of America" and the phrase "highest moral standard" should never be in the same sentence