am i on the right track first one no good-horrible writer Forum

[Sesi329]

edit

[T00L]

July 3rd 2005, I had just got my license a few weeks before and begged my mom to allow me to drive up to my friends cabins in northern Michigan, reluctantly she allowed. A 3 hour drive and I couldn’t wait to be there. I finally arrived around 11pm and my friends had a huge surprise for me.

If I were an adcom, I wouldn't have made it past the first sentence without grimacing at these punctuation errors. Story's OK, but COME ON! YOU'RE APPLYING TO LAW SCHOOL.....

[Sesi329]

July 3rd 2005, I had just got my license a few weeks before and begged my mom to allow me to drive up to my friends cabins in northern Michigan, reluctantly she allowed. A 3 hour drive and I couldn’t wait to be there. I finally arrived around 11pm and my friends had a huge surprise for me.

If I were an adcom, I wouldn't have made it past the first sentence without grimacing at these punctuation errors. Story's OK, but COME ON! YOU'RE APPLYING TO LAW SCHOOL.....

lol I know. English is far from my best subject, I have to improve quite a bit. thank you for your feedback though is their anything i should cut out?

[franklyscarlet]

Find a good copy editor to go over this line by line (if you're in undergrad, go to the writing center). The grammatical errors are a serious problem. If you're still in undergrad, it would be a very good idea to take a basic writing class. Being a dull writer is one thing, but having difficulties structuring a basic sentence will hold you back not only in admissions, but in law school itself.

[rinkrat19]

Look, I'm gonna be harsh here. It's an interesting story but you're writing at maybe an 8th grade level. I'd recommend waiting a year to apply to law school and SERIOUSLY working on your writing.

You could get someone on TLS or in your school's writing clinic to edit this essay line-by-line and improve it to 'passable,' but the first time you turned in a memo in law school, you'd be screwed. By this point, you should really be able to use punctuation correctly and know the difference between 'their' and 'there.' A mistake here and there is one thing--we all make them--but this has multiple errors in pretty much every single sentence. If you actually know the rules and are just ignoring them: QUIT IT. If you honestly don't see the grammatical disaster that this is, GIT YOSELF TO A WRITING CLASS!