Need help on academically dismissed addendum Forum

[fashiongirl]

So in the character section in the applications, they require you to disclose if you have been dismissed by an educational institution, and I was dismissed after my first year of college.

Here's my story...obviously it would be good to write an addendum right? Please help me figure out what to include in my addendum.

I went to college as an engineering major, because my dad pushed me to do it. I wanted to apply as a business major but since my parents are asian, I basically had no say. I know this makes me sound weak at this point but keep reading. I have always put my education first and I have always gotten above a 3.5. Coming from a tiny all-girls private high school, I started joining a bunch of different school clubs and organizations because I have been sheltered my whole life (private school since Kindergarten). I ended up doing a ton of community service and fundraisers my first year of college - for AIDS, breast cancer, volunteering at homeless shelters, family shelters, beach clean-ups, and multiple events at school such as open house. I was the community service chair of an Asian interest organization and mismanaged my time inefficiently in addition to selecting a major that I had no interest or strengths in, and I ended up passing only my writing, political science, history and english electives. Obviously this wasn't enough to fulfill the requirements for passing major classes in the college of engineering so I was academically dismissed (kicked out) from school after my first year of college. At that moment I started prioritizing school once again, and instead of taking the easy route by trying to get back into engineering, I chose to take a risk and start all over by taking the required classes for business, and reapply to the college of business. I took 7 classes a semester and worked at a law firm 20 hours a week since my parents were not supporting me financially. I got a 4.0 and got back into school within 3 semesters. From that point on I never received lower than a 3.5 and ended up graduating a quarter early since I was so devoted to school.

Now what do you think I should keep - what do I highlight and what do I axe?

Your thoughts are much appreciated.

[Danteshek]

You sound like a job applicant, when she is asked what is her biggest weakness, says that she is too detail-oriented. Stop blaming your parents and take responsibility.

[revahp00]

i wouldnt mention anything about your parents. Just say something along the lines of 'please look at my next 3 years and 4.0 as the real indicator of my academic ability'. Say you were going through a crisis at the beginning of your college career and from there it was a slippery slope downhill. What matters is that in the end you triumphed and proved what your capable of, focus on that.

[fashiongirl]

Danteshek - This isn't my addendum. I was just telling my story of what happened. Not blaming anyone but myself... that's just how I decided what my major would be.

revah - Thanks for the insight. I was thinking along the same line but I don't want to lie and say I had a major crisis if I really didn't.

[theadvancededit]

Just be frank about what happened-- how you were kicked out of a very difficult program because you had overextended yourself (which, in a way, isn't a bad thing) but, in repairing the damage, found a major you loved more. Leave all emotions/familial complaints out of it, and focus on the bare-bones of the issue.

For more: --LinkRemoved--

[fashiongirl]

Thanks so much theadvancededit! Thought I had to put more detail into it but if not that makes it a lot easier for me.

[kublaikahn]

Do they really have private schools for tiny girls?

[fashiongirl]

Do they really have private schools for tiny girls?

Ugh. I know.. my bad.

[kublaikahn]

This is a tale of two students, one gets kicked out the other gets a 4.0, so what is the difference? Not a bad topic, just presented poorly (as an excuse rather than an explanation.) Tie it to a real life comparison (someone you helped maybe) showing either two people with similar circumstances achieving different outcomes, or someone who failed but when they found their passion (though your help) they flourished.

Maybe you have an interest in criminal justice and helping defendants alter their trajectory.