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06162014123

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Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:40 pm

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Post by 06162014123 » Thu Nov 03, 2011 5:01 pm

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Last edited by 06162014123 on Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:28 am, edited 2 times in total.
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06162014123

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Posts: 213
Joined: Fri Apr 16, 2010 8:40 pm

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Post by 06162014123 » Mon Nov 07, 2011 10:52 am

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Last edited by 06162014123 on Mon Jun 09, 2014 11:29 am, edited 2 times in total.
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CanadianWolf

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Re: First Attempt, it fizzles at the end

Post by CanadianWolf » Mon Nov 07, 2011 11:12 am

Your personal statement introduces you to the reader in a positive light. Genuine, sincere, caring, motivated & mature is the message which is shared in an effective fashion.

"...to what I view as the central pillar of the justice system." = is unclear.

P.S. Your essay starts out well, picks up steam & finishes on a high note.
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