Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
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lisac

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Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by lisac » Sat Oct 29, 2011 1:35 pm

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Last edited by lisac on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:01 am, edited 3 times in total.

Danteshek

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by Danteshek » Sat Oct 29, 2011 6:02 pm

Your answer to "why law school" is much too vague. Considering all the ageism you will surely encounter, you need to come off as focused on a specific area (or areas) of practice.

lisac

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by lisac » Sun Oct 30, 2011 8:16 am

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Last edited by lisac on Sun Nov 06, 2011 8:02 am, edited 1 time in total.

CanadianWolf

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by CanadianWolf » Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:03 pm

Was your sister a medical practitioner who was "defended" in a malpractice action, or was she a plaintiff "represented" by an attorney ?

Interesting that you refer to laws as a method of administering society rather than governing.

Overall, your personal statement is well done & convincing. Maturity & an understanding perspective are evident throughout your essay. Although a touch mechanical in its construction, the lack of emotion demonstrates a seasoned administrator's workman-like approach to the practice of law.

P.S. Although I am not a fan of home schooling, the teaching experience is likely to be valued by law schools.

CanadianWolf

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by CanadianWolf » Sun Oct 30, 2011 12:09 pm

Your addendum is excellent. A word is missing after "household income"--probably "plummet".

Packaged together, your PS & Addendum show determination & clarity of thought.

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Danteshek

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by Danteshek » Sun Oct 30, 2011 5:35 pm

lisac wrote:Thanks for your input, Danteshek. I was concerned about being too specific about what I want to do.

Do you think this paragraph, inserted right before the last one in the PS, addresses your concern?

"Prospective law school students are often asked what they envision themselves doing in ten years. I will be working on selecting a jury that will give my client- a doctor, hospital, or pharmaceutical manufacturer- a fair hearing of the evidence. Growing up in a family of physicians gave me a special empathy for the concerns of those who care for the wellness of others. I have seen that competent practice alone does not protect medical professionals from lawsuits. Often plaintiffs equate less than perfect outcomes with fault on the part of the health care provider. My existing strengths, combined with the training I seek at XXX Law School,will make me a valuable resource for satisfactory resolution of these emotionally charged cases."
Yes, I agree that you can probably market yourself in medical malpractice. Be sure to go work for this type of lawyer while still in law school.

lisac

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by lisac » Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:03 pm

CanadianWolf, thanks for taking the time to critique my essays. Your response leads me to think that the essays will leave an accurate impression of me with admissions committee members!

In the medical malpractice case I mention in the PS, my sister was indeed a physician named in a suit with several other physicians. Although she was advised to settle, she was determined to keep her name clear of any wrongdoing. She prevailed, but it took quite a lot of time and effort, and it was a very draining experience for her.

In the addendum, I write of halving our household income. From your mistake, I can see how with a quick read it might seem like having, which would make it seem like I skipped a word. I'll definitely consider rephrasing that.

P.S. I wouldn't recommend homeschooling for everyone. For us it was the right solution at the right time. I've seen homeschooling have some remarkable successes and some horrifying failures...just like public and private schools. I do hope that law schools will see it as time well spent.

lisac

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by lisac » Sun Oct 30, 2011 9:12 pm

Danteshek wrote:
lisac wrote:Thanks for your input, Danteshek. I was concerned about being too specific about what I want to do.

Do you think this paragraph, inserted right before the last one in the PS, addresses your concern?

"Prospective law school students are often asked what they envision themselves doing in ten years. I will be working on selecting a jury that will give my client- a doctor, hospital, or pharmaceutical manufacturer- a fair hearing of the evidence. Growing up in a family of physicians gave me a special empathy for the concerns of those who care for the wellness of others. I have seen that competent practice alone does not protect medical professionals from lawsuits. Often plaintiffs equate less than perfect outcomes with fault on the part of the health care provider. My existing strengths, combined with the training I seek at XXX Law School,will make me a valuable resource for satisfactory resolution of these emotionally charged cases."
Yes, I agree that you can probably market yourself in medical malpractice. Be sure to go work for this type of lawyer while still in law school.
I'm really looking forward to having this kind of hands-on experience while still in school.

Did you think this paragraph flowed well with the others, and left a strong enough impression of why I want to be a lawyer?

Danteshek

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Re: Please BRUTALIZE my PS/Addendum

Post by Danteshek » Mon Oct 31, 2011 10:37 am

Yeah looks good to me.

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