PS in need of repair Forum

[TofferStrom]

Thanks for the help everybody. Thanks especially to rinkrat for all the constructive criticism.

[174]

exploring the nut-hard corrals

I came. Absolutely include this line in your revised personal statement. Aside from that, I would suggest going with something more conventional. (For example: http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... 2&t=169112). If you want to be all creative and shit, law school isn't for you.

[thederangedwang]

stop trying to sound smart, deep, philosophical, or abstract and start sounding normal.


This is nowhere close to being a decent ps imho.

[rinkrat19]

This is so incredibly pretentious it made my eyes bleed.

A metaphor loses its effectiveness when you fashion it into a hammer and beat the reader over the head with it. I hated your Ocean of Esoteric after the first paragraph and was hoping you'd (metaphorically) drown in it and stop writing.

Take a creative writing class and get it out of your system. Then take a business or technical writing class and learn how to write clearly.

[2xHarvard]

That was a beautiful essay!!

Suggest tweaking the 2d-to-last line because "Sympathy Avenue and Problem-solver Place" is a little goofy...reminiscent of Sesame Street?

Overall - I at least have a sense of who you are. You might want to read some other essays in various collections. Stay true to your own insights and don't ape others.

[CanadianWolf]

Agree that you should delete : "...on the corner of Sympathy Avenue and Problem-solver Place."

The primary concern is whether or not you want to use the one opportunity that law school applications allow to reveal more about yourself in this manner.