PS rewrite/resume help Forum
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HellOnHeels
- Posts: 548
- Joined: Sun Jul 31, 2011 8:19 pm
PS rewrite/resume help
Down for editing.
Last edited by HellOnHeels on Mon Oct 24, 2011 10:51 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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sfamor
- Posts: 52
- Joined: Thu Jul 14, 2011 11:27 pm
Re: PS rewrite/resume help
I have celiacs too- while it is obviously a crappy diagnosis, I'm not exactly sure if it has a place in the law school personal statement as it is quite common these days. If you wanted, you could make it the basis for your essay and explain how you struggled due to the exhaustion and other symptoms, but kept a positive attitude and pushed onwards succesfully. As it stands I think it's better to leave out the one brief paragraph that you have now. My overall comment is that you probably want to pick one or two of the subjects in your essay that you have now and make those the basis for a more concise and focused essay.
I was left feeling that perhaps your opening about adversity might be a little misleading based on the rest of your essay. While it is clear you have had some challenges, many people have had it a whole lot worse. It is not at all uncommon for people in the US to have had parents who fought, had trouble paying bills, took few vacations, and got government aid at some point (in fact that's pretty much the norm). Maybe you could think of a particular story or antidote that you could include that would really show how you suffered and bring it back to how that suffering makes you a strong law school candidate today. One other idea is to go with the story about how you had to wait until your dad got paid before you could buy a textbook and discuss how being from a working class background made you feel different, but more motivated amongst a school of students from primarily middle class backgrounds.
I was left feeling that perhaps your opening about adversity might be a little misleading based on the rest of your essay. While it is clear you have had some challenges, many people have had it a whole lot worse. It is not at all uncommon for people in the US to have had parents who fought, had trouble paying bills, took few vacations, and got government aid at some point (in fact that's pretty much the norm). Maybe you could think of a particular story or antidote that you could include that would really show how you suffered and bring it back to how that suffering makes you a strong law school candidate today. One other idea is to go with the story about how you had to wait until your dad got paid before you could buy a textbook and discuss how being from a working class background made you feel different, but more motivated amongst a school of students from primarily middle class backgrounds.
