1st Draft Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
BigJohnso

Bronze
Posts: 102
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 2:55 pm

1st Draft

Post by BigJohnso » Sat Oct 08, 2011 3:50 pm

Removed,

Heading in new direction. Thanks for the posts.
Last edited by BigJohnso on Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:34 pm, edited 3 times in total.

User avatar
Ernert

Bronze
Posts: 203
Joined: Thu Jun 09, 2011 2:35 am

Re: 1st Daft

Post by Ernert » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:08 pm

May want to edit the thread title lol.

I really think you should go in a different direction with your PS. Until the last paragraph, you don't really sell any qualities outside of yourself, and only talk about your academic interests. They can tell you have a background in hard sciences by the fact that it is on your resume. If you had a reason that was better than, "it came to me in church" that you really wanted to dig into (maybe a fascinating physics project you did or an event that resonated with you and made you realize that you wanted to pursue patent law), you could still talk about it. But as is, it basically reads as a summary of your academic courses with an extremely artificial feeling "Aha!" moment.

I don't mean to cheapen your discovery at all, and it very well may be that you will look back and always remember that day as the point when you chose your future path, but it doesn't make for a very interesting story.

Overall, remember that your goal is to sell yourself as an individual and show qualities outside of what is immediately noticeable through your numbers/resume and as of now, that doesn't seem to be happening.

BigJohnso

Bronze
Posts: 102
Joined: Sun Oct 02, 2011 2:55 pm

Re: 1st Draft

Post by BigJohnso » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:18 pm

lol sorry about the title.

Yeah I was thinking along similar lines. I just wrote this up in 45 minutes as what first came to mind, because it really did come to me in church. Really the reason why patent law resonated is that I have a passion for figuring out and explaining how things work. This is what people in patent prosecution do. Ill head in another direction

User avatar
luxxe

Silver
Posts: 830
Joined: Sat Jul 11, 2009 11:12 am

Re: 1st Draft

Post by luxxe » Sat Oct 08, 2011 4:24 pm

ia with the above. And, honestly, I wouldn't mention the church "revelation" - I think some adcomms could read it wrong/not be very receptive to it.

I think talking about your experience in research and then why that wasn't completely fulfilling, and why you would find applying that knowledge to law fulfilling, could work. I would do it in a much more direct way (don't trace your major changes), though.

Want to continue reading?

Register now to search topics and post comments!

Absolutely FREE!


Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”