taken down for editing.
thanks guys.
ps help!! Forum
-
shmoo597
- Posts: 301
- Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2008 10:31 pm
Re: ps help!!
Reads too much like a resume, and is kind of boring with no coherent message throughout. I'd focus it down on one issue and re-write the whole thing.
-
CanadianWolf
- Posts: 11465
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm
Re: ps help!!
The primary weakness in your personal statement is that you overload the reader with too many details while offering too little insight into you & your goals. To correct this imbalance, set forth a clear & succinct theme in the opening paragraph.
-
Curious1
- Posts: 952
- Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 7:54 pm
Re: ps help!!
Agree. This is exactly what not to do.CanadianWolf wrote:The primary weakness in your personal statement is that you overload the reader with too many details while offering too little insight into you & your goals. To correct this imbalance, set forth a clear & succinct theme in the opening paragraph.
Focus on ONE of the things you listed, talk about micro-anecdotes that really express who you are and why you're fascinating. I knew a girl who wrote about her experience trying to install a program on her computer one night, and she showed through the experience what kind of a person she is. She's at Yale now.
I know you've heard this before, but they know what extra-curriculars you've dine--it's in your resume. Look at everything that's on your resume and write about something other than those.
