Second draft. Hopefully better than the first. Forum

[Bearlegdairy]

I hope this isn't

[2011Law]

In one of its most famous decisions. the Supreme Court had

I guess you meant to put a comma, but I'm not sure you really need one.

I thought it was fine, didn't get the ra ra america vibe at all.


mind reading mine? sending it out by tonight.

http://www.top-law-schools.com/forums/v ... 8&t=145956

[CanadianWolf]

This essay is akin to the peaks & valleys of an amusement park roller coaster ride. Seems as if you really aren't confident in your theme & that causes the theme to become a touch muddled & a bit confusing. While reading this personal statement, I wondered if you were trying too hard to show an intellectual ability that just isn't well thought out.
P.S. Could you explain the "twins humor " to me ?

[SigBab]

This was not done out of patriotism, something which I have never quite understood, but rather out of the sentiment that the character of my country reflected upon my own, and that it should be held to the same standards by which I measured myself.

I think hyphens are more appropriate here.

This was not done out of patriotism--something which I have never quite understood--but rather out of the sentiment that the character of my country reflected upon my own, and that it should be held to the same standards by which I measured myself.

But then, I question if the hyphenated content is even necessary. It might rub some readers the wrong way (not me, but you get my drift).
I'm not sure how I feel about the "funny" metaphors for the purposes of a statement (since it's constantly crammed down our throats that this is our job interview), but I certainly enjoyed reading it.

[Bearlegdairy]

So... Should the comment about patriotism and the goofy metaphors stay in or no?

[SigBab]

So... Should the comment about patriotism and the goofy metaphors stay in or no?

In my opinion, the patriotism thing should go.

As for the metaphors...I don't know. Like I said, I enjoyed reading it, I'm just not certain that it's appropriate. I'd like to hear other peoples' opinions on that myself.