Critiques Would be much appreciated! Forum
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cbp3443
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- Joined: Tue Oct 05, 2010 1:38 am
Critiques Would be much appreciated!
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Last edited by cbp3443 on Thu Dec 30, 2010 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Critiques Would be much appreciated!
I think your premise is excellent. I get bored easily, but I really wanted to keep reading. I just think you should work on flow.
Exp.
I was jealous of my younger brother for my entire childhood. I have always been jealous of my younger brother.
Edit: And you should work on the ending too. I mean, delete that paragraph and write a new one.
Exp.
Edit: And you should work on the ending too. I mean, delete that paragraph and write a new one.
