250 draft Forum

(Personal Statement Examples, Advice, Critique, . . . )
Post Reply
User avatar
glitched

Silver
Posts: 1263
Joined: Wed May 19, 2010 9:50 am

250 draft

Post by glitched » Tue Dec 07, 2010 5:44 am

Delete. haha thanks for the feedback. i need to work on this.
Last edited by glitched on Tue Dec 07, 2010 11:45 am, edited 1 time in total.
Top
WayBryson

Bronze
Posts: 179
Joined: Fri Sep 10, 2010 8:24 pm

Re: 250 draft

Post by WayBryson » Tue Dec 07, 2010 8:33 am

I like the topic, but should you keep it, then I think you need to do more with it. What you're talking about IS pretty amazing, so I don't think you need to keep reminding us about that. Right now, you basically just keep repeating how awesome this is in various different ways for the entire essay. Maybe take the emotional appeal of that wonder and use it as a launching pad for something more nuanced--like the moral/ethical/legal(though this might be risky) issues surrounding this technology. Also, I am pretty sure that we don't currently have the technology to grow a new heart from the stem cells in our hands. Anyway, I think there are about a million and fifty different (amazing) places you could take this topic. Good luck with it.
Top
Post Reply

Return to “Law School Personal Statements”