Anyone willing to critique my Why UVA? Forum

[piccolittle]

Let me know what you think! Are my reasons compelling enough (in particular the horse bit? It's one of the most important things to me)?

_______________________________________________________________________________

I grew up in a small town. After six years of immersion in the British education system and living in one of the largest cities in Europe, I am eager to spend the next three at a law school with a more American collegiate feel and a strong sense of community. I believe that Virginia Law, as part of a large, vibrant university, will provide the perfect atmosphere to support my journey through law school. Virginia’s reputation for community, strong principles, and emphasis on volunteer work makes it a school that I would like to explore and contribute to in all aspects of academic and extracurricular life. My supervisor once said of [my current workplace], “In no working environment before have I been surrounded by people who are so brilliant and yet so nice.” After speaking to dozens of past and current Virginia Law students, I am confident that I will find the same of my time studying in Charlottesville.

By the time I enroll at Virginia, I will have spent seven years living outside of the United States and away from my family’s commercial horse boarding stable. An equestrian since the age of two, it is also important to me to be able to keep my horse near my school. I know that having an athletic outlet like riding will complement my studies and enhance my focus. Consequently, Virginia’s location in the heart of my sport’s most popular area, half an hour’s drive from an ideal facility, is an extremely important factor to me, and sets Virginia apart from every other law school in the country. In addition to Virginia’s academic reputation, opportunities like these in and around Charlottesville convince me that attending the University of Virginia School of Law would be an incredible opportunity and invaluable experience.

[Saltqjibo]

Absolutely nothing wrong with it as far as I can tell.

"Confidant that I will find the same"

perhaps to

"confidant that I will be able to say the same"

Not sure I like the opening of the second para "by the time I enroll..." maybe change to "as of september 2011" (or something better)

definitely get rid of "also" in the next sentence


All in all pretty darn good and to the point. Wish I could say the same of mine, take a gander at the topic below yours and let me know what you think

[Saltqjibo]

And yes, your reasons seem genuine, which makes them compelling.

[eve2490]

.

[Taiwont]

To be honest, I think you need to make it a little more personal.