DS final draft... did I miss anything Forum

[hawaii]

.

[shoop]

It wasn't clear to me right away that someone had penned the prison bars over your photo and spent the first half of my skim wondering when the smack would be laid on the school newspaper editor who allowed a Photoshop-modified display of racism go to press. Clear that up, and I think it's a pretty darn interesting statement.

One more thing...

the men in both religions maintain a beard and turban

might read better as "devout male practitioners of both religions wear beards and turbans."

One practices a religion, rather than one being "in a religion."

[hawaii]

Thanks shoop!

One practices a religion, rather than one being "in a religion."

I'm not entirely sure about Islam, but at least in Sikhism, men wear turbans, but a beard is something to be maintained, not worn.

Would this sound better?

Despite the fact that devout male adherents of both religions maintain a beard and wear a turban, the two are not interchangeable.

[Older Chest]

Great essay. I agree with the above poster's suggestion, otherwise I would say you are golden.

[hawaii]

Anyone else have any thoughts? I'd really like to submit my apps this week...