Please critique my PS Forum
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blackbird
- Posts: 22
- Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:30 pm
Please critique my PS
Edit: Hopefully this sort of action is perfectly okay by the rules of the site. I'm just going to remove the text of the personal statement while I go to overhaul this draft. Gin, thank you so much for your input. I truly appreciate it. Also, if a mod sees this edit and feels motivated to delete this thread, I wouldn't mind that one bit.
Last edited by blackbird on Sat Nov 13, 2010 10:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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gin
- Posts: 387
- Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 3:35 pm
Re: Please critique my PS
I'm not sure what the length requirements are and where you are submitting it to but that is way too long (4 pages)
You are going to have to cut a great deal and by doing so, I have the feeling it will change a great deal. Here's something you can do for the second paragraph:
"Signing up for SCCAP, a student-run volunteer organization dedicated uniquely to social justice, in my first few weeks of college was a pedestrian-enough decision, but it would ultimately shape nearly the entirety of my four-year collegiate career. It is difficult not to pinpoint my decision to join SCCAP as the crystallization of my ingrained desire to give back to the community. I had always wanted to make a positive contribution to society, and finally in college, I had the opportunity to get involved."
All I did was copy and paste to rearrange it and cut the unnecessary stuff. (oh and I changed the last few words)
If you do that with everything you should be able to get it to at least 3 and the just edit the content and condense some stuff to get it to where you need it to be
You are going to have to cut a great deal and by doing so, I have the feeling it will change a great deal. Here's something you can do for the second paragraph:
"Signing up for SCCAP, a student-run volunteer organization dedicated uniquely to social justice, in my first few weeks of college was a pedestrian-enough decision, but it would ultimately shape nearly the entirety of my four-year collegiate career. It is difficult not to pinpoint my decision to join SCCAP as the crystallization of my ingrained desire to give back to the community. I had always wanted to make a positive contribution to society, and finally in college, I had the opportunity to get involved."
All I did was copy and paste to rearrange it and cut the unnecessary stuff. (oh and I changed the last few words)
If you do that with everything you should be able to get it to at least 3 and the just edit the content and condense some stuff to get it to where you need it to be
