. Forum

[jd2b1010]

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[homestyle28]

It's hard to judge devoid of context, but the second sentence is phrased like a question. Should read:

"Now, more than ever, knowledge of finance and accounting is a vital..."

[Shooter]

I see where you're going with this. But I don't particularly like it. The second sentence is written in a very odd way. Move "is" to after knowledge.

Also, the subprime mortgage crisis was not a corporate scandal.

[RVP11]

Please don't include this in a personal statement.

[Flips88]

You guys sure do read well.

[champ33]

I don't see anything at all wrong with it as is.

[djjf39]

Lose passive voice in first sentence:

"The business climate of the past decade was impacted by numerous corporate scandals,

Should read something like " Numerous corporate scandals ravaged the economy and business climate during the last decade"

Reword this sentence as well:

Now, more than ever, is finance and accounting knowledge a vital component of a corporate attorney’s background.

Content is fine, Enron reference maybe a little trite.

[pinkzeppelin]

"The business climate of the past decade was impacted by numerous corporate scandals

It's a matter of choice, but I don't like the passive voice here. What djjf39 said is credited.

, from Enron and WorldCom to the subprime mortgage crisis. Now, more than ever, is finance and accounting knowledge a vital component of a corporate attorney’s background.

What other posters said about the sentence structure is credited. In addition, what you're saying is very vague. How do the scandals make a background in finance and accounting vital?

My experience in these areas will add diversity both in the law school classroom and in practice, whether as a corporate attorney, wite collar prosecutor, or in some other practice area entirely."

I'm hoping you will replace "my experience in these areas" with what you did in your actual PS.

Also, the last part ("whether...") adds nothing of substance. Remove it.

[jdemmitt]

"now more than ever" is a cliche. It sounds tacky.

[Emma.]

Please don't include this in a personal statement.

edit:

also: http://www.contentious.com/2005/10/22/v ... acted-ugh/

[RVP11]

Please don't include this in a personal statement.

edit:

also: http://www.contentious.com/2005/10/22/v ... acted-ugh/

The content is crap, too.