Please Critique! Go hard on me! Forum
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DoniLynn
- Posts: 2
- Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 4:55 am
Please Critique! Go hard on me!
Deleted
Last edited by DoniLynn on Fri Nov 12, 2010 9:52 pm, edited 5 times in total.
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ShuckingNotJiving
- Posts: 266
- Joined: Wed Jun 30, 2010 11:24 am
Re: I need help with my Personal Statement! Please Critique!
you put your real name? delete that boo boo.
overall this is good. honest and has all the characteristics of a decent personal statement. the ending is a bit too hallmark for me. just my opinion, however.
does your mom really just up and quote Emerson like that? pretty hot.
overall this is good. honest and has all the characteristics of a decent personal statement. the ending is a bit too hallmark for me. just my opinion, however.
does your mom really just up and quote Emerson like that? pretty hot.
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nikkilaw
- Posts: 8
- Joined: Wed Oct 27, 2010 12:18 pm
Re: Please Critique! Go hard on me!
this sentence sounds awkward, consider revising.Her and my father separated after eight years and two children together.
overall, good content, needs work on the execution =)
