Criticize my retake addendum Forum

[afLSAT]

Shooting for NYU law. No LSAC GPA because my UG used evaluations. Excellent grades for off-campus classes. 5 years out of UG. Excellent softs, unique work experience, serious commitment to a field of public interest law as demonstrated by intensive volunteer work.

I know it's somewhat long. All true though. Looking forward to your comments. Thank you.

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Dear Admissions Officer,

I’d like to request that you withhold your decision on my application until I receive my score for the December 2010 administration of the LSAT. I received a score of 167 for the October administration, but I have reason to think that I can do significantly better in December.

Briefly, here are the reasons why I believe my current LSAT score doesn’t reflect my ability:

— I originally registered for the June 2010 LSAT, planning to study during the academic year. Then in April, 2010, my [close family member] was arrested after an argument with a police officer. The stress aggravated my [another close family member's] heart arrhythmia and [he/she] was admitted to the hospital for observation. I had to return home to bail out my [CFM] and deal with the legal issues. Missing a week of classes and work put me so far behind that I was unable to study for the test until right beforehand, so I canceled the score and registered for October test.

— I studied for the October test by reading strategy books and taking practice tests. I found that I had an aptitude for the reading comprehension and logical reasoning sections, and that I even enjoyed them. Although I struggled with logic games, I improved until I had an average score of 173 in the weeks before the test. However, on the day of the administration I struggled with logic games and failed to score in the range I had hoped.

Being admitted to NYU Law School is very important to me. I’ve registered for the December LSAT and saved up to hire a tutor who can help me improve my performance on logic games. I respectfully request that you withhold final consideration of my application pending receipt of the December score, which I hope will provide a true measure of my aptitude.

Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
********

[s0ph1e2007]

Shooting for NYU law. No LSAC GPA because my UG used evaluations. Excellent grades for off-campus classes. 5 years out of UG. Excellent softs, unique work experience, serious commitment to a field of public interest law as demonstrated by intensive volunteer work.

I know it's somewhat long. All true though. Looking forward to your comments. Thank you.

---------------
Dear Admissions Officer,

I’d like to request that you withhold your decision on my application until I receive my score for the December 2010 administration of the LSAT. I received a score of 167 for the October administration, but I have reason to think that I can do significantly better in December.

Briefly, here are the reasons why I believe my current LSAT score doesn’t reflect my ability:

— I originally registered for the June 2010 LSAT, planning to study during the academic year. Then in April, 2010, my [close family member] was arrested after an argument with a police officer. The stress aggravated my [another close family member's] heart arrhythmia and [he/she] was admitted to the hospital for observation. I had to return home to bail out my [CFM] and deal with the legal issues. Missing a week of classes and work put me so far behind that I was unable to study for the test until right beforehand, so I canceled the score and registered for October test.

— I studied for the October test by reading strategy books and taking practice tests. I found that I had an aptitude for the reading comprehension and logical reasoning sections, and that I even enjoyed them. Although I struggled with logic games, I improved until I had an average score of 173 in the weeks before the test. However, on the day of the administration I struggled with logic games and failed to score in the range I had hoped.

Being admitted to NYU Law School is very important to me. I’ve registered for the December LSAT and saved up to hire a tutor who can help me improve my performance on logic games. I respectfully request that you withhold final consideration of my application pending receipt of the December score, which I hope will provide a true measure of my aptitude.

Please feel free to contact me should you have any questions. Thank you for your consideration.

Sincerely,
********

ha oh man, this is too long.
I cannot believe you inlcuded in the addendum which parts of the LSAT you enjoyed.

This:

Dear Admissions Officer,

I’d like to request that you withhold your decision on my application until I receive my score for the December 2010 administration of the LSAT. I received a score of 167 for the October administration, but I have reason to think that I can do significantly better in December.

I cancelled my June score because of a family emergency that prevented my from studying properly for it.
My score in October, however, was a great deal lower than I believe I am capable of receiving on the LSAT. As such, I would like to request that NYU LS hold my application until the December LSAT scores are released.




you don't really have a good reason, so that's the best you can do, but they probably will hold it for you anyways

[doing_it_in_a_car]

I'm new to this law school app stuff but I'll give this a try.

1. Get rid of the contractions. Spelling it out is more formal.
2. "until you receive" instead of "until I receive" my december score...
3. I doubt that mentioning the tutor is going to improve their impression of you. I would just leave it at "I'm going to try harder and show you my true ability"
4. "closer" is a more humbling word than "true" wrt "measure of your aptitude"
5. Agreed with above post, be brief with it.

[teaadntoast]

This is rather overlong and confusing.

Are you writing to explain why you canceled your June score? If so, cut all but the first two paragraphs.

Otherwise, scrap this and wait to submit until you actually have a December score. A detailed explanation of why your preparation techniques were unsuccessful and your proposed study plan are unnecessary.

[12262010]

won't this be awkward if you do poorly on the retake?

[afLSAT]

Are you writing to explain why you canceled your June score? If so, cut all but the first two paragraphs.

Otherwise, scrap this and wait to submit until you actually have a December score.

I'm really trying to explain my 167 in October, but I can't imagine that they won't wonder about the June cancel on my score report if I don't address it.

I called the admissions office and they suggested that I apply now and write an addendum asking them to hold my application, and stating why I'm retaking.

won't this be awkward if you do poorly on the retake?

Yes, but in that case I'll accept the score as my own. I think the LSAT is a decent test and I don't want to make endless excuses for myself -- this is just the reality of the situation.


Generally, thanks for your comments. I'll cut it down.

[teaadntoast]

I would suggest being concise. They have a lot of applications to read up there, no need to bury the actual point under a bunch of information they don't need.

Dear Sir or Madam:

I am writing to request that you withhold your decision on my application until I receive my score for the December 2010 administration of the LSAT. I received a score of 167 for the October administration, but I have reason to think that I can do significantly better in December.

Et fin.

[thecilent]

won't this be awkward if you do poorly on the retake?

lol You are awesome.

[hscohen]

Is there any way to e-mail these addendums to the schools, or do they need to be submitted via paper? What does the cover page need to look like? Please respond.