Another fun poll! Forum

HowdyYall · Post by **HowdyYall** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:17 pm

Can someone help me out, I feel that something is wrong with this sentence in my conclusion but cant put my finger on it:

"I hope to someday play a pivotal role enacting international treaties between the U.S and Mexico."

If it needs work, what specifically? Your help is much appreciated!

2Serious4Numbers · Post by **2Serious4Numbers** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:26 pm

"I desire to attain a pivotal role enacting international treaties between the U.S and Mexico. Improving the ecological and human well-being in the border region will..."

HTH

HowdyYall · Post by **HowdyYall** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:37 pm

alrighty thanks for your help! do you see any way i could keep it as one sentence though? my PS has been cut and cut and cut for about two months now and Im right at two pages (another sentence is gonna put me over)

2Serious4Numbers · Post by **2Serious4Numbers** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 2:38 pm

In that case, I would just tweak it so that it doesn't sound so run-on. Simple/concise sentences always allow one to end strong.

HowdyYall · Post by **HowdyYall** » Sun Oct 31, 2010 9:14 pm

does anyone else have any suggestions on making this sentence work?

Another fun poll! Forum

Is this sentence alright grammatically and what not?

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