Updated PS. Please critique! Forum

[JMcLeod7]

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[edubs003]

That last paragraph comes out of nowhere. It's like a personal statement and then a paragraph about why you want to go to law school. I would tie your education back into the second to last paragraph. Also, why are you captivated? Just saying it isn't enough. Did you take any law related classes? If so, put it in there.

[edubs003]

I forgot to say that it's a pretty good statement. I have a similar statement about battling a Toyota Corolla at 45 mph. I was a pedestrian though.

[JMcLeod7]

Thanks I think I'll just take out the first sentence of the last paragraph. Any other advice ??

[edubs003]

I think you should combine the last two paragraphs.

[JMcLeod7]

Thanks edubs. Anyone else have any ideas/comments?