Any help would be great. anything i should add / take out?
___________________________________________________________________________________
Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
-
egeffin
- Posts: 79
- Joined: Wed Aug 25, 2010 8:36 pm
Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
Last edited by egeffin on Sun Oct 17, 2010 8:32 pm, edited 1 time in total.
-
CanadianWolf
- Posts: 10723
- Joined: Wed Mar 24, 2010 4:54 pm
Re: Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
Not good. Too many inappropriate word choices surrounded by a poorly thought out topic. The introductory & conclusory paragraphs are terrible, yet, they may be your best two paragraphs.
-
kwais
- Posts: 1675
- Joined: Tue May 11, 2010 12:28 pm
Re: Another Personal Statement - Please Give me your feedback
I agree. It is extremely impersonal.
