PS: Please critique Forum
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applepiecrust
- Posts: 476
- Joined: Sat Jun 12, 2010 11:38 am
PS: Please critique
Paranoia strikes again. PM me.
Last edited by applepiecrust on Mon Oct 18, 2010 1:37 am, edited 1 time in total.
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TonyBender
- Posts: 7
- Joined: Tue Oct 12, 2010 10:30 pm
Re: PS: Please critique
the continuous compare and contrast that you do between India and America is hard to follow.
Also, it seems that there are several sub-themes within your essay, while it may be stronger to just focus on one. For example you discuss the cultural limitation of India (clothing), family expectations (finding a spouse), acceptance of different sexual preferences, acceptance of foreigners, changes in speech, etc. Think about which of these themes has been most important in shaping you as a person and develop that one idea. It just feels too scattered right now.
Please critique my PS lower on the thread. Just look for my name. Thanks!!!
Also, it seems that there are several sub-themes within your essay, while it may be stronger to just focus on one. For example you discuss the cultural limitation of India (clothing), family expectations (finding a spouse), acceptance of different sexual preferences, acceptance of foreigners, changes in speech, etc. Think about which of these themes has been most important in shaping you as a person and develop that one idea. It just feels too scattered right now.
Please critique my PS lower on the thread. Just look for my name. Thanks!!!
