Online all day and I want to exchange my first draft Forum

[TOMaHULK]

Please PM me.

This is my first, and VERY ROUGH draft.

I know I need to cut it down in size and I'm just looking for help on doing so.

~THANKS IN ADVANCE

[TOMaHULK]

Thanks to the people that PM'd me. I sent it, but I might have accidently deleted the message because I cleared out my outbox and think it may have cleared it on your end as well. If so, I'm sorry. I'll resend if needed.

(didn't know that clearing your outbox would delete the message on your end too)

[TOMaHULK]

I just did a first revision. If anyone is interested in taking a look at both 1st and 2nd and tell me if I'm heading in the right direction with my edits, that would be great.

Also, I have a degree in English so I don't mind giving any feedback as well. I've learned that critism only makes our PS better.

~Thanks all

[TOMaHULK]

I've been working on drafts for the last few days. (yes, in the PS mode)

If anyone cares to exchange, please PM.

[TOMaHULK]

Please PM if you're willing to take a look.

Right now I'm looking for help on it's flow, any repetitiveness, grammar, and just it's overall impact. I'll surely return the favor.

~THANKS