PS first revision Forum

[Marionberry]

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[CanadianWolf]

Great essay. Very effective. Layered in maturity. Makes the reader want you to become a lawyer. Some minor grammatical errors that, hopefully, others will point out. This is easily one of the best compositions that I have ever read for the purpose of strengthening a law school application.

[Marionberry]

Yay! Thank you! That's very reassuring, and I appreciate you taking the time to read it. My first attempt at a ps was absolute drivel, so I'm glad this one turned out better.

Now someone will come along and tell me it's crap.

[LSAT Taker]

Nicely done. It was easy to read, and IMO, perfect in length. In fact, my draft PS is very similar in structure (i.e., driven by a representative episode, accomplishments and lessons learned from it, etc.). I am now working to link LS (motivation, goals, etc.) to my professional experience. A big question for me is whether I am not saying enough about "who I am" while focusing too much on my job and past achievements. OP, do you have the same concerns? I could probably post mine later to compare notes.

[Scott4LLM]

I do feel I need to know a little less about Sue and a little more about you, especially since you are applying for law and not a masters in social work, in which this story my be more directly related.
Also I had to reread the first few sentences several times in the attempt to orient myself. Clinical internship? I was thinking legal clinic, but now we're talking patients not clients. So then Sue must be a patient? No she's a nurse. A nurse and a patient. Oy vey.
Since you are probably using pseudonyms to protect confidentiality, you might try a different name with no legal connotation

[Marionberry]

Nicely done. It was easy to read, and IMO, perfect in length. In fact, my draft PS is very similar in structure (i.e., driven by a representative episode, accomplishments and lessons learned from it, etc.). I am now working to link LS (motivation, goals, etc.) to my professional experience. A big question for me is whether I am not saying enough about "who I am" while focusing too much on my job and past achievements. OP, do you have the same concerns? I could probably post mine later to compare notes.

I had similar concerns about whether or not it says enough about who I am, but I kind of feel like it should, and does, reflect who I am in my writing and my perspective, rather than saying "I am good at this. I like this. etc" I think my letters of recommendation and resume will provide a more comprehensive picture of who I am as a person, with the PS providing a little more nuanced description of one of my better moments. I don't want to try to make it an example of where I have done lawyerly things in the past, because as a 0L, I haven't. I'd be happy to read yours if you want, just post it on here or send me a PM. The trickiest part I found is connecting the experience or the work to the skills that are necessary for law. I still am not entirely sure how I'm gonna wrap it up.