. Forum

[schopenhauer]

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[Geat27]

I think this is really excellent but I would elide the last two lines.

[rockstar4488]

I think the first and last paragraphs do well in showing your personal dichotomy. The second and third feel forced and thrown in there. I think this essay is almost the opposite of one of your themes. It is four very nicely written paragraphs, that separately, are greater than their sum.

[dominkay]

Too gimmicky, arty and self-indulgent. Too broad. You haven't actually picked a topic. You're right that it would be a terrible PS; it would be a terrible DS, too. You need something much more focused.

[Jack Smirks]

I would get rid of the second paragraph and the last two lines altogether. I would also stick to a more specific topic, it seems to be a bit all over the place. The first paragraph is a phenomenal start, go back and build from there. imo.