Swapping personal statements Forum

[astorlove]

PM me if you want to swap PS ASAP. I will read tonight!

Anyone looking to swap personal statement, you can PM me.

[tee2]

A popular saying goes “Without change, there is no growth.” This is indeed true, however, without change there is also no decline, only stagnation. The possibility and reality of change carry with them the fear of failure as well as the excitement of success and growth. For me, I believe change is in and of itself an adventure and we all have to live out this adventure everyday because life is all about change – physical, emotional, spiritual, significant, and insignificant changes. I have rejoiced in my successes as well as survived and learned from my failures and hurts brought about by change, by embracing its challenges and learning how to deal with its inevitable occurrence.
I was born and raised in Lagos, Nigeria. After graduating from high school at the age of 15, I moved to the United States of America to meet my father and three of my siblings whom I had not seen in 7 years. Apart from the anticipation I felt in seeing most of my family for the first time in many years, there also existed the fear of leaving the only home I ever knew. It was without question the biggest and most critical adventure yet of my life so I decided to put everything I had into it. I overcame the fear of having a new home with the support of my family and with the resolution that I would make the most of everything new and different that came my way. It took a few months, but I eventually adjusted to my new surroundings. I learned to enjoy Rhode Island’s winters after my 15 years in 95 degree weather, I learned to make new friends by sharing cultures and experiences, and soon enough, the United States became home.
My interest in studying law was sparked by the broken legal system in Nigeria, which lacks adequate structure, organization and professionalism. With this in mind, I anticipated pursuing a career in the legal system. At my undergraduate level at Rhode Island College, I majored in communications, with a concentration in mass media and a minor in theater arts. I chose to study mass communications not only because I found it exciting, but because of its diverse, cultural, legal and moral context. Studying mass media helped me boost my research, oral, written and visual communication skills. For example, I had a class project in which I worked in a team of two and we shot and edited a short documentary on the gay and lesbian community on campus. I also took a logical reasoning class and a couple of history and literature classes outside my major which not only helped develop my cognitive and moral skills, but strengthened my ability for critical and analytical thinking.
In my sophomore year of college, I developed a personal interest in entertainment law after taking a class in Communications, Law and Regulation. I have a passion for the entertainment industry and I find the legislation governing the industry very interesting and challenging. My aim is to work within the legal profession as an entertainment lawyer by providing help and protecting the rights of artists, companies and individuals involved in the entertainment industry. Furthermore, as an entertainment lawyer, I plan on assisting the rapidly developing entertainment industry in Nigeria which is more or less the largest in West Africa .There are copyright laws in place, however , the industry does not have the ability to enforce those laws to protect the works of their artists, authors or inventors because of the broken legal system.
While in college, I participated in extracurricular activities. I was an active member of the communications club and often contributed with projects that were to be done. For example, I assisted with organizing Rhode Island College’s communications day program, which enables students who pursue a career in communications to meet and network with real professionals in the field of communications. I was also an active member of the women of color student organization, which recognized the diversity amongst women, and helped build awareness about the changing roles, and contributions of diverse women in our society.

During my final year at Rhode Island College, I had the opportunity to do a summer internship with WPRI FOX News in Providence, Rhode Island. I assisted assignment editors, producers, reporters, video editors, and photographers with important projects. I also performed administrative duties, attended press conferences and conducted interviews with people who were put on the news. I was also given the opportunity to write news stories with the assistance of my intern supervisor. Working amongst real professionals boosted my confidence and gave me the opportunity to gain practical experience to rise to a big challenge. It also helped me grow in preparation for life after graduation. I also received good feedback from my intern supervisor as a result of my hard work and dedication. With the knowledge I have gained so far, I believe I am armed with the tools to succeed in law school through hard work and determination. I feel more confident as I embark on the next phase on the road to law school. Being a lawyer requires perseverance, dedication and determination and these are attributes I possess.



PLS READ AND GIVE ME FEEDBACK THANKS.

[raperez129]

Can anyone swap, or read for me? I will read same day you send....just PM me.
THANKS~

[cassieyuc]

Anyone pls help me check it? foreigner, need to send it by next monday
email is fine caseyyucai@gmail.com highly appreciated

In one usual hot and humid afternoon in Sri Lanka, the air in the meeting room of our project site was nearly frozen. It was a claim negotiation meeting for a construction project, but it ended with my employer, as Contractor, failure to recover the loss from out of contractual scope work, which could be largely attributed to the inability of our lawyer to understand technical thoroughly. The problem reflected the practical ineffectiveness of Chinese laws that has not kept pace with fast-growing real-estate market. Along with other drawbacks created by bubbles in the industry, I perceive the responsibility to explore law further in order to close the gap between engineering and law.

I take pride in my career as an engineer because I could contribute to people’s livelihood considerably. When I chose to work in the rehabilitation project funded by Chinese government in Sri Lanka, I felt honored to assist local victims to build their home after the devastating tsunami in 2004. Coordinating between both local engineers and Chinese teams, I made every effort to deliver the project efficiently and effectively. As my work were recognized and lauded, I was promoted as Commercial Manager in the fastest manner. Nonetheless, the lack of legal knowledge put me in a disadvantage position in contractual and regulation issues, which impelled me to rethink my planned career path to be a successful engineer. I decided to maximize every opportunity for professional growth by enrolling in new program in a new city.

Even back then as an engineer, I had the desire to go into law, and it was no mistake that I took Construction Law to define my passion. Although facing enormous challenge competing with native speakers and law students, with the guidance and encouragement from Professor XXXXXXX, I gained my confidence gradually. By comparing Chinese regulations to US legal system, along with my solid foundation of engineering, I managed to bring unique perspective to the class discussion, which sometimes gave rise to hot debates in the class. Progressively, I found the study of appeared-elusive legal concepts and principles a delightful experience. To further enhance communication and client exposure, I also served as Construction Management consultant at DXXXXX

While living in New York, I thought back to my unanswered question of expanding beyond the limits of engineering. Whereas engineering discipline is bound by technical knowledge, law allows the expansion of disciplinary boundary and area of practice. This is the difference that engaged me to examine deeper in law. I believe law school study could fill my void in legal knowledge required to synthesize the two disciplines. With my international background and diversified experience, I feel certain that I could bridge the gap in communication and understanding between the law and engineering in order to meet the demands in the ever expanding transnational real-estate market.

Other than the attachment to XXXXX University as a former student, I was also impressed by the diverse culture. The amiable environment to people from different background could allow me to exert my greatest potential. Besides, XXXXXX is also renowned for its leading Chinese legal study. Growing up in mainland China, I am longing to investigate what I have not known about from an international perspective and interdisciplinary approach, since it could be conducive to my goal of reforming the current Chinese real-estate legal system. Therefore, going to Columbia will clearly put me in inimitable position that is closest to realize my goal.

[Waggly Toast]

I'm willing to swap. My deadline is March 1 and I'm really needing some honest feedback. I have two potential statements.

[Dave]

I need my essay critiqued so if anybody needs their critiqued in exchange, please PM me. As many as you guys like, I enjoy reading these.

[OmbreGracieuse]

I would appreciate some help on my PS, so if anyone would be willing to read through it, or swap PS's with me, I'd appreciate it.

PM me if you'd be willing to glance through it. Thanks!!

[lmarie81]

I would like to exchange PS with someone to get some feedback about my PS content, tone, etc. I am having serious second thoughts on it and any feedback is welcome. If anyone is willing please PM me. Of course this late in the cycle if you are just willing to read and give feedback that is great too!

Thanks so much!!

[nygiants56]

could someone please take a look at my ps I am having a real hard time tying in a strong ending.

As a boy I was raised to believe that money was the most important thing in the world. On many occasions my father, who grew up poor, would tell me, “Michael, money is the most important thing in life, it comes first”. These ideals drove my father to repeatedly chase the all mighty dollar through construction jobs in the Middle East. To my father, it seemed as though this was an exciting life and one which most people could only dream of. On many levels he was right; it provided my family the opportunity to live in countries like Iran, Iraq, and Saudi Arabia, immersing ourselves in different mores, and morals of many cultures throughout the world. The one real problem that he could not see was the adverse impact this transient lifestyle was having on our family and that it would eventually lead to its breakup.
After graduating from high school in 1988, I worked two jobs for a year and half to save for college. In the fall of 1990 I set off to conquer the world. My first stop was St. John’s University. I was certain of the career path I would take; Finance, Wall Street and its chance for big money was calling. But like most students, my first two semesters were ones of adjustment, of being an adult in terms of age but not in maturity. But that all changed in my third semester. That’s when I met my future wife, got engaged, and wed early because of an unexpected addition to our future. Now my father’s teachings were resonating in my ears. I needed to make money. I had bills, I had to provide for a family, no matter what else, I needed money. This need drove me to strive for better grades so I could graduate and get a good job. My grades went from a 2.7 to a 3.44, all the while working full time, and neglecting my young family.
After three and a half years at St John’s, I graduated. For the next two years, I worked at an investment bank. I worked hard, up to eighty hours a week and was soon promoted to Assistant Vice President. I felt like something was missing though, more money. After some deliberation I decided the real place for me was to be at the nexus of the finance world, the floor of an exchange. The major obstacle I was facing in obtaining the position I needed was the nepotism of the floors. You needed to know someone to get an interview. Luckily, I had an uncle who worked on the floor of the Chicago Board of Options Exchange, so I set out in search of some information and advice. While spending a few days on the floor of the CBOE, I began to take notice of the names of the firms listed on the member’s jackets. One day while in Chicago, I decided to create my own opportunity by cold calling some of those firms. My desire impressed one firm enough that an interview was setup with their floor manager on the American Stock Exchange in New York. During the interview, I was informed that all floor traders must undertake a six month rigorous training course. At the end of the interview I was offered a clerk position, which paid about $30,000 less than I was already earning. But I could see the pot of gold the end of the rainbow; it was there for the taking. About two weeks after accepting the position, I was informed that there was a class already underway and that I would have to wait six months for the next class to start. For me that was unacceptable. I asked, “How long have they been attending the class”. The answer was “six weeks and that the first exam was in three days”. After some major coaxing, I got the floor manager to agree to allow me to take the exam and also agree that if I passed with an 85% or better, he would allow me to stay in the class. I spent every minute I had reading, studying, and asking seasoned trader’s questions. Finally, the night of the exam was here. The next morning the floor manager grabbed me, and told me I scored a 91%, the second highest grade in the class, and that I was in the class.
Although I found trading exciting, demanding, and most of all financially rewarding, I also found it morally challenging. As my experiences grew, I began to question Wall Street and its ethics. On occasion I had seen traders enter into verbal binding, contracts and then renege on them as trades became financial losers. Besides the legal issues, I always found it disturbing how some would trade their integrity for money. As a trader, I have always believed that my word was my bond. In all my years of being on the floor, I take pride in the fact that I was always revered as an honest, stand up trader, and had never been investigated for actions unbecoming a member.
Flash forward to November 2001. I had made it, success. I now owned my own trading firm on the American Stock Exchange. I had twelve traders trading my money. I owned a seat on the Chicago Board of Trade. I had a nice house, and nice cars, and a beautiful family. And then it happened. A phone call came in the early morning hours. The voice on the other end of the phone said “Michael your father was rushed to the hospital”. And that’s when my world stopped.
I had never given much thought to the concept of my father dying, or to the possibility of what it might mean to lose him. Suddenly, I was confronted with this very real prospect. Over the next few months I lived in a hospital room in Texas watching helplessly as my father battled for his life, all the while seeing the most influential person in my life wither away, watching him fade in and out of consciousness. During one of his times of lucidness, my father hit me with the most life altering moment I had ever experienced. He sat there with tears in his eyes and said “Michael I was wrong, everything I ever taught you about money was wrong. Life isn’t about money; it’s about your family, it’s about your boys and your wife. Please don’t make the same mistake I made, it’s not worth it. My biggest regret was losing my family”. Sadly, my father passed and I was left with utter confusion. My whole life was about his ideals, and now he was telling me they were wrong.
For the next five years, I struggled with the loss of my father. It impacted my life profoundly, I found myself asking questions. Who was I? What’s life really about? Is it that simple, family? How do I deal with this? My whole life was about money, a big house, and material goods.
In 2004, I became involved with coaching youth football. I never could have imagined that I would get anything personally out of coaching, but I did. One day while I was on the field coaching practice, I noticed some fathers screaming and yelling to their kids about playing harder, be a winner, winning is the most important thing. At that point many things started to run through my head, these children wanted to be out there predominately because of their fathers wanting them to be out there, at this age these kids don’t understand a thing about football except their father likes it and that he wants them to play. I found myself reflecting on the impact of what my father’s ideals and words had on me.
I have now coached football for 6 years and I find myself being more interested in how I am impacting these young lives, how I am not only teaching the game of football but also teaching life lessons; commitment, teamwork, and hard work. Recently, I ran and was elected the president of the Pop Warner organization in my town. I found myself running because of the inequality and lack of leadership in our program. The people who were in charge had different standards for their friends and families. The family’s who had financial problems or personal problems with the organizations board of directors were ignored or worse taunted until they quite the program. I have always felt that the organization is the parent’s organization and that the program only exists because of these families, I could no longer sit idly by and allow this to continue.
In February 2010 I turned 40 and as most men do, I have done a retrospect of my life and at this point in my life, it seems to most, that I have it all: a comfortable house in the suburbs, a happy marriage, and three beautiful sons. I could have simply continued my travel through life toward my eventual retirement. But with the soul searching I have done and my experiences in life I have now started to ask the questions, how is my life going to be measured? And I think I have figured it out. A measurement of my life is not by the material possessions I accumulate over the course of my life but rather by the number of people I touch and help during my life”. I realize I want to contribute more to the world than simply capitalizing on financial opportunities that most people don’t understand.

[FutureApplicant]

Perhaps I'm a bit early, but I have finished what I'm hoping is a presentable personal statement and am seeking commentary. I would be happy to exchange with anyone who is interested. PM me.

Thanks!

[dadengcrew]

Anybody gearing up for Fall 2011 cycle and want to trade personal statements?

Pm me.

[crossingforHYS]

have a PS, kinda rough first draft anyone willing to read? would swap ..

[grobbelski]

Anyone willing to swap? please pm.

[fella1665]

I'm a non-traditional applicant and would appreciate input on my personal statement. Please let me know what you would expand or what you would cut. Thanks!

Flames shot thirty feet into the New Orleans’ night sky as the five alarm fire burned out of control. A man stood in his backyard, garden hose in hand, attempting to saturate his roof to protect against descending embers. The source of the blaze was an industrial distribution center that had been owned and operated by my family for four generations. I had been a partial owner for less than a year and at the age of twenty-six was faced with a difficult decision. For years the big box stores had taken market share away from the independent businesses we supplied. It was a mature industry and the prospect of continuing another generation without a drastically different business approach appeared questionable. The twenty employees and their families that relied on the business for their livelihoods weighed heavily on my mind. Some had been with our company for thirty years. If we were to stay in business it would either require us to downsize or personally reinvest. The risks were twofold. Downsizing would impact our ability to leverage our purchasing volume. Capital reinvestment would limit our options to diversify.

After discussions with employees, vendors, and clients we decided to reinvest and rebuild the business. For the next two years we operated at a loss and there were many days that I wondered if we had made the right decision. During the rebuilding process I negotiated our insurance settlement and a new risk coverage agreement, organized salvaging and clean-up efforts, executed a commercial lease on our new building, negotiated favorable discounts on purchases, created client retention and employee assurance programs, managed the process of rebuilding the infrastructure necessary to house our products, and entered into capital equipment contracts for our handling equipment and freight vehicles. We gradually became profitable again, recovered our reinvestment and expanded our market. Then Hurricane Katrina passed through town and our business was again destroyed. This time by standing flood waters twelve feet high. At the time of the hurricane I was living in Atlanta and expanding our market to encompass more of the southeastern United States. We began the process of reclaiming what we could and assessing whether we should rebuild.

My immediate desire was to rebuild again. We had done it successfully only a few years earlier. The experience gained from the fire partially informed my decision, what it could not do was prepare me for the massive undertaking that rebuilding a business post-Katrina would entail. Not only were we faced with many of the same challenges we encountered after the fire, now our employees were scattered throughout the country and most of our long-term client base was out of business. Ultimately we decided not to reopen and I began researching options to attend law school. In the interim, I was offered a position with a national mortgage company and within a year was a top five producer out of more than a hundred advisors. Bolstered by this success in a new industry, I started my own mortgage branch. We operated successfully for about a year when the credit crisis led to a restructuring of our business. I focused marketing on the emerging loan modification segment by outsourcing our back end processing to an attorney-based company. We quickly became profitable and the company asked that I open a retail branch for them in Atlanta. The organization restructured as a National Law Group and within six months my office became the top producing branch. As a non-attorney manager in the newly restructured organization, limits were placed on compensation levels so that there would not be personal or organizational exposure to a potential claim of practicing law without a license. I left the firm and created a separate attorney-based partnership in the same industry. For a year we operated independently but due to increases in outsourced processing costs and a shift in our target clients’ ability to pay our fee we had to discontinue business operations.

I view this as an opportunity much like I experienced after the fire, after Hurricane Katrina, and after the credit crisis. Working for the law firm and in an attorney-based structure gave me significant exposure to the legal side of our business. I believe through my experience expanding and developing multiple companies I would be able to uniquely contribute as a law student at the University of Georgia School of Law. I bring substantial negotiating, team building and work flow management skills and would like to compliment that experience with a focus on the specifics of transactional law.

[JDeterminedF]

Anyone care to swap/critique??? PM me!

[artichoke]

If anyone would like to exchange personal statements, PM me. I'd really like to get some objective evaluation, and I would like to think I give pretty good feedback.

[forward]

Anyone aiming for T14 want to swap statements?

[illmaticjones]

Hey, does anyone know if schools ask for the same ps's each year from students applying, or do schools change the format/questions to be answered each year? The reason i ask is because i want to get a head start on applying to schools and most schools don't post the new application information online until August.

[UCLAorbust]

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[Hannibal]

If anyone wants to trade PSes, email me at Hannibal222@gmail.com

[bmonuscg]

Anyone want to swap PS's? If so please PM me.

Thanks.

[RIPmitchhedberg]

If anyone else is looking at T14 schools and wants to swap, please let me know!

[brochocinco]

PMs sent.. Feel free to do the same

[Deuce]

If anyone else is looking at T14 schools and wants to swap, please let me know!

Same here!

[eh364206]

so i'm brand new to all this stuff, all though i was definitely lurking on this forum while waiting for my lsat score to get back in june =]

i will switch personal statements with whoever is willing to be honest with me about mine. i'm a very honest editor and i won't edit for style.

just pm me if you want to switch! thanks in advance.