First draft Forum

[john1990]

I read the legal dictionary to increase my vocabulary. If you read a legal dictionary then law must be a passion of yours, there is no other explanation
Well some of this information is on my resume there are countless new facts here in this personal statement
I believe there is reason to write about law as my passion. This was a goal of mine as an undergraduate and i know i accomplished this and it shows in this personal statement. My personality is in this paper and in the tone taken. The events i mention display my personality.

You have a ton of strangers on the internet (strangers just like adcomms; strangers like myself who got admitted to many T14 law schools) telling you that your statement lacks personality and substance, and yet you counter that it has personality and substance. Ok, sure, you win. Good luck with your cycle.

I have been accepted at a few T25 in the past but could not attend :/
I admit this is a more professional statement, but i do not have anything to write about in my personal life besides how i have become a more vocal person in classes

[rinkrat19]

I admit this is a more professional statement

It's not professional at ALL. It's vague and and superficial and makes you sound disturbingly strange. And also very young and naive.

but i do not have anything to write about in my personal life

A good writer could write a personal statement about their pencil-sharpening technique. My PS was about recreational sports. I've read good statements about appreciating art, about working a mundane job, and about lots of other undramatic everyday things.

how i have become a more vocal person in classes

Overcoming shyness/increasing confidence could be a fine topic if were fully developed, but that's not what your essay is about. It's a collection of weird stuff like reading the legal dictionary and unsupported claims of glory like increasing charisma.

In the end, it doesn't matter what YOU think of your PS. It matters what the reader thinks of it. Every single person who is reading it thinks it needs a complete overhaul.

[A. Nony Mouse]

It can be hard to think of anything to write about, and easy to feel like there isn't anything to say. But you could write about a whole universe of things - family, friends, hobbies, pets, sports, work, volunteering, art, theater, science, music, reading, church, travel, vacations. If you wanted to write about your business law classes or your prelaw association, you could do that - you just need to actually tell your reader something about about them than that they were interesting and prepare you for law school.

[jselson]

I'm just gonna place this here:

http://top-law-schools.com/forums/viewt ... 0&t=196751

[NanaP]

To OP...I'm confused as to why you're so resistant to the advice given.....there is a simple solution, read the paper out loud and hear how it sounds.

I think you should start over. Think about anything, life event, your grandmother, grandfather...anything other than this topic. For fucks sake, there are countless articles as to what not to do, and what you just wrote is usually listed as number 1 not to do.....

[rinkrat19]

I'm just gonna place this here:

http://top-law-schools.com/forums/viewt ... 0&t=196751

Well that's...special.

[californiauser]

The first sentence is ridiculous.

How is being a lawyer better than being an NFL longsnapper?

[A. Nony Mouse]

I'm just gonna place this here:

http://top-law-schools.com/forums/viewt ... 0&t=196751

Well that's...special.

Srsly. Well, that's enough of this troll.