Swapping personal statements Forum

[gltm]

Hi there,

Can we please swap personal statements?
I just wrote mine today and I know its not too strong so I need some great advice/editing!

I am more than happy to be doing the same! Please PM me if interested and we will swap!

I am hoping whoever is going to offer me advice on my personal statement/edit it can do so by tomorrow night!

Please let me know. PM me!!

[chnike112]

so i sent PMs to some people on this thread and havent heard back from them so if anyone wants to swap and critique PM me!!! thanks

[PopandLock]

Hey, I am just going to drop my PS on the thread. I've gotten only a few responses from PMs, so I am posting it publicly in the hopes that some TLS-ers will drop their input on it. Tear it to shreds.

Thus far I've had one TLS person give me extensive input, and I really appreciate this person's insight. Thank you.

That being said, send me your PS as well for review. I will do my best.

“Great Salt Lake Mercury Worries Scientists.”
“Toxic mercury lurking in Great Salt Lake.”

They sound like premises for a bad horror movie, but they are real headlines that appeared in newspapers in 2005. The reason: a study conducted by the U.S. Geological Survey (USGS) revealing the Great Salt Lake to contain extremely high levels of mercury. My research partner, Levi, and I were hot on the trail, trying to get answers from government officials, scientists, and environmental groups.We began our investigation believing that identifying the source of the lake’s mercury contamination would be easy. We were wrong.

Levi and I were both members of an environmental think tank developed by my university’s Honors College. The think tank’s purpose was to address environmental concerns relevant to the Greater Salt Lake area. This year, the twelve-panel consortium was tasked to focus on the Great Salt Lake itself. Through speaking with a local environmental activist, Levi and I became intrigued by the particular issue of mercury contamination in the lake. We decided to investigate the matter ourselves.

Our first step was to examine available scientific evidence. The USGS report revealed the concentration of mercury in the lake to be as high as twenty-five parts per billion, the highest mercury readings ever recorded in a body of water in the United States. The state responded by issuing an advisory, sparking public concern. Such a concern is not unwarranted, as mercury is a neurotoxin and poses a health risk to humans.

Where did this mercury come from? Though Levi and I had initially suspected local anthropogenic (manmade) sources to be the culprit, we encountered a problem when we discovered that mercury could remain in the atmosphere for long periods of time and travel great distances around the globe. A volcanic eruption in the pacific rim, for instance, could be just as likely a contributor to mercury in the lake as a gold refinery in Elko, Nevada. After conferring with scientists in the field, we realized that identifying the exact sources of the lake’s mercury would be ‘technically unfeasible’ using atmospheric data. Our question remained unanswered, though our suspicions remained.

I summed up our findings in a report submitted to the think tank. The year drew to a close and the group adjourned. I had come to the table expecting to make ground-breaking changes, and had come away from it impeded by a lack of scientific data. On the surface it seemed like the program had proved to be a waste of my time.

In reality, however, the program had turned out to be a very valuable use of my time. Interacting with a wide variety of professionals gave me multiple frames of reference from which to view a real-world problem. It also developed my own professional skills. The many hours I spent interviewing taught me how to ask the right questions. In addition, the experience brought me closer to the Honors College community, where I thrived and formed lasting relationships with fellow students and faculty.

These same skills will carry over to my law school experience. I am looking forward to interacting professionally with experts in pursuit of solving problems. Due to my inquisitive and persevering nature, I believe I have a future in litigation, and plan to participate in one or more litigation clinics during law school. Just as in the mercury investigation, there are many questions to be asked; I will be the one asking them.

[sconnielaw13]

Popandlock,

I like your PS however in my own opinion I think you should attempt to talk a little more about your own personal growth from the experience and try to find a slightly stronger tie back to how it will benefit you in law school. I mean don't take what I say too hard or any thing because I think it is decent, I just think the above aspects if changed could strengthen it. Also when you refer to anthropogenic I don't think it is necessary to put manmade after it. I would hope any one and everyone on the adcom would know what that is. I am sorry I don't have more but the above is what I took from it in a quick read. Best of luck to you this cycle!

[sconnielaw13]

would anyone be willing to swap personal statements. I have a decent rough draft and I am just looking to find out what peoples impressions of it are and if there are any suggestions. If you are interested pm me and we can maybe swap email addresses or something.

[Gonzod23]

so i sent PMs to some people on this thread and havent heard back from them so if anyone wants to swap and critique PM me!!! thanks

Yeah, I will. PM me to get my email.

[ruleser]

Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?

[eakelley]

anyone have a more complete draft and want to swap? i'm happy with the structure and content of mine (i think!) but want to make sure it flows well and is without grammatical errors
thanks

[JollyGreenGiant]

Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?

To be honest, I would try to incorporate some professional highlights into your personal story. However, if the professional highlights are on your resume then this would seem redundant.

[esmagalhaes]

I've been a philosophy professor for a few years, but was unable to get a tenure-track job. My interest in law school is largely due to the better job prospects.

I have a mental illness which is thoroughly under control.

Terrible idea to mention in any way either of these things?

[SomethingCorprt]

Anyone willing to trade? PM me and I'll send you my PS/Addendum.

[SomethingCorprt]

I've been a philosophy professor for a few years, but was unable to get a tenure-track job. My interest in law school is largely due to the better job prospects.

I have a mental illness which is thoroughly under control.

Terrible idea to mention in any way either of these things?

I don't think it's a terrible idea at all. Just leave out the better job prospect thing that might not go over so well. But mentioning your journey through both the illness and being a philosophy professor is great.

[SomethingCorprt]

Well I have 2 PS's and I am having some trouble deciding which one to go with. One is more personal story, one is more professional highlights.

Anyone care to weigh in on which they think might be better to use?

The professional highlights could be put in a resume no?

[SomethingCorprt]

am i crazy....i got something like a 3.69 gpa... and who knows what upcoming on the lsat im hoping for mid 160's..... i dont have much extracurricular so i decided to make my personal statement standout hopefully.... i did that by explaining how pink floyds 'dark side of the moon' album changed my life and the way I think.. and tied that to a law career kind of..... too out there or not??

I think this is different and something that the readers would enjoy! It also says that you can think outside the box. And you know that every answer isn't clear cut...

[tsub]

I want in on the swaps. PM me and let's get it rolling.

[solotee]

Count me in.

PM for a swap!

[theadw]

edit: oops.

PM for swap.

[GoTribe1]

Interested in swapping. PM me.

[MC Southstar]

anyone wanna swap? PM me plz.

[SomethingCorprt]

I'm going to up all night (I'm at work) and I'm going to try and study logic games. But I'm willing to look at any personal statements while I'm up to help fellow TLS'ers. I have rough drafts of my own and I will PM you or email you my work as well; which ever way is easiest for you.


Thanks,
Tanya

[DEANBIGBROTHERALMI-T]

count me in for personal statement swapping PM me or you can email me at

napozero@gmail.com - this is my junk email address, i know youre not supposed to post email addy's on forums due to junk mail, but i got enough on this thing im not really sweating it. let me know.

[JPJ]

Looking for a review of a U. of Houston PS.... any takers? I'll PM it to you.

[JPJ]

no love?

[dbc001]

I'm currently trying to put my PS together. I would like to swap as well. Any takers, let me know through PM. I'm better at viewing others work with a critical (constructive) eye rather than my own. I would send mine as well. Let me know!!

[joshhoward]

------