Scholarship Negotiation Letter Forum

[nickb285]

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[Teflon_Don]

I would remove "As you know, the economy and the job market for attorneys have been ailing for the last few years. While I am confident in my ability to perform in law school, and hopeful that as the economy recovers, the legal market will recover also, the reality of the current economic situation means that minimizing debt, and thus mitigating risk, are of great importance to incoming students like myself". I think that is all unnecessary, but overall the rest seems great.

[nickb285]

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[Teflon_Don]

You don't think it needs something between "I like your school" and "this offer sucks"? It seems like a weird transition without a segue.

you liking their school is implied and that their offer sucks is implied by showing the other enticing offers. IDK, you could add a shortened transition. good luck

[nickb285]

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