Scholarship Negotiation Letter - Any comments? Forum

[MattThiessen]

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[Knock]

Wait, a higher ranked school offered you enough scholarship money than the lower ranked school? And i'd edit out your real name.

Edit: I'd take out "As you're likely aware."

[MattThiessen]

Wait, a higher ranked school offered you enough scholarship money than the lower ranked school? And i'd edit out your real name.

Edit: I'd take out "As you're likely aware."

Yeah, a higher ranked school offered me more money. I would still like to attend the lower ranked school BUT only if the lower ranked school will offer me more $$$.

And I agree w/ that edit. Thanks!

[Knock]

Wait, a higher ranked school offered you enough scholarship money than the lower ranked school? And i'd edit out your real name.

Edit: I'd take out "As you're likely aware."

Yeah, a higher ranked school offered me more money. I would still like to attend the lower ranked school BUT only if the lower ranked school will offer me more $$$.

And I agree w/ that edit. Thanks!

Change "question" to "questions," and add a line requesting to remove the class rank stipulation (you kind of imply it but I would be more explicit about it), and I think you're set. With what appears to be a fairly significant offer from a higher ranked school, I think you have a pretty good shot. Best of luck.

[McMoose]

Hey guys, I was just hoping to get some feedback on this letter that I'll be sending out. Any thoughts?

Good afternoon,
I first wanted to thank you so much for accepting me into your prestigious law school and also for the generous scholarship you have offered. It means so much to me to be given the opportunity to study law at ***************. As I go through the process of determining where I want to study law for these next three years, your school is at the top of my list because ************
Your generous scholarship offer of ******* was much appreciated. However, when ultimately deciding what Law School to attend one of the primary considerations will be financial. I have been offered almost a full scholarship to the *********** (see attachment) and while your school is at the top of my list, it would be hard for me to turn down such an offer from another well-respected institution like ***. As a result, I am writing to ask you to increase your initial scholarship offer.
I really appreciate your consideration and look forward to hearing back from you.
All the best,
********* *******