Personal Statement Comments Please Forum

[nontradurmlaw]

Please read my PS and comment. What would you add/remove? So far is exactly three pages long. Thank you in advance for taking the time!!

I was used to hot sun, dry air, and the perpetual stench of fumes from the food processing plants surrounding my neighborhood. But as I walked down the street in my new California town, the sky was overcast and the air had the light, salty scent of the ocean. I was eleven years old, and it was my first day of school in the United States. As the class began, the teacher led me and the other “Spanish kids” to a table in the back corner of the classroom. On the walls were pictures of characters unfamiliar to me. I would later learn that these were the great American figures Martin Luther King Jr., George Washington, and Abraham Lincoln.

My grandfather was the first in my family to feel the cool ocean mist of the California air. During World War II, he picked fruits and vegetables through a guest worker program, and in the 1980s my father worked the same fields, sending money back to us in Mexico. However, due to my father’s undocumented status, his visits home were infrequent. In the late 1980s, after years of living apart, my parents made the difficult decision to reunite our family in California, even if it meant crossing me and my eight siblings across the border illegally. What followed for me was 25 years of experiencing life as an undocumented immigrant. Although my father had filed a petition for me in 1994 after becoming a legal permanent resident through President Reagan's amnesty, I did not gain legal status until 2014.

My parents believed bringing us to the United States would pave the way for a brighter future. The reality was a road ridden with struggle and hardship. While the American Dream was possible, it was elusive. Like much of the working-class population in Mexico, my parents never made it past elementary school, leaving school at an early age to help support their families. In the U.S., this meant they worked long hours for minimal pay, leaving me largely to my own devices. With little support or guidance, I dropped out of the eighth grade. None of my eight siblings had graduated high school, and there was no reason I should be any different. I did not return to a classroom until seven years later when I finally realized that a higher education was the key to satisfying my increasing intellectual curiosity.

I began by attending adult school to earn my GED at the age of twenty-one. I still recall the humiliation of writing my first assignment in all capital letters because I had never learned to format an essay. With perseverance and the help of several supportive teachers at my local community college, I transferred to the ****. Two years later I graduated with honors majoring in ****. As an undocumented student I was ineligible for all financial aid, but in 2006 immigration services granted me a temporary work permit due to the immigrant visa backlog. The ability to work legally enabled me to finance my tuition in its entirety through my full-time job as an immigration legal assistant. Having personally experienced the frustrating and labyrinthine process of legalization, I developed a deep academic interest in the intricacies of family immigration law. While at *** my primary academic focus was examining the immigrant experience through the interdisciplinary lens of humanities and social sciences. My senior thesis, titled “The Nativist Challenge to Comprehensive Immigration Reform,” analyzed the political and cultural barriers that have stifled a solution to the dysfunctional immigration system in the United States.

After graduating, I continued to work as a legal assistant, serving primarily low-income, Spanish-speaking, immigrant families. The intellectual challenge and personal fulfillment I experienced solidified my goal of becoming an immigration attorney. My main hobby became my independent study of immigration law. As I deepened my knowledge in this area, I expanded my role as an immigration assistant, conducting intake interviews, filing inquiries with U.S. Citizenship and Immigration Services (USCIS) and American consulates abroad, and researching immigration statutes and case law for clients. I continued this work after moving to Los Angeles by volunteering for the nonprofit organization **** of Los Angeles. There I had the opportunity to utilize my bilingual skills to translate documents, interpret meetings, help organize naturalization drives, and assist community members in completing immigration forms. This experience further intensified my desire to practice family reunification immigration law.

Upon returning to the Bay Area, I put my goal of attending law school on hold. Even though I was able to work legally, I was still not a legal permanent resident making me ineligible for loans and grants. Financing my own law school tuition would be impossible. I worked as an Eligibility Worker for the County of ***, conducting eligibility interviews and processing applications for MediCal. This work allowed me to continue serving low-income, Spanish- speaking populations and develop my understanding of government benefits. However, I found that my mind was never far from immigration law. As a result I began work with the nonprofit **** as an immigration case manager assisting immigrants and refugees with their petitions before the USCIS. A law degree will enable me to continue this important work which I find fulfilling and rewarding.

My unique amalgam of academic, professional, and personal experiences has provided me with a solid foundation for the study of law. Through my work and volunteer experiences with immigrant communities I have witnessed first-hand the urgent need for honest and competent immigration legal services. My own journey through the complex process of migration and legalization has enabled me to approach immigration and naturalization law with both a sharp intellectual eye and a compassionate heart. I am keenly aware that the study of law is an arduous undertaking that requires serious commitment and discipline. This is a challenge I will approach with the same enthusiasm and determination that has guided since I decided to return to school.

[fliptrip]

Thanks for positing this. I really enjoyed reading it and if I were an admissions officer I'd be really intrigued!

Anyway, you should condense the first three paragraphs into one and find a way to eliminate or integrate the second to last paragraph. I think that will shorten the essay without limiting its impact.

[nontradurmlaw]

Thanks for you input! BTW The Big Lebowski = best freaking movie EVER!!!

[texcellence]

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[zot1]

Anyway, you should condense the first three paragraphs into one and find a way to eliminate or integrate the second to last paragraph. I think that will shorten the essay without limiting its impact.

This and then some. I didn't put your essay into word to see how many pages it was, but I could tell it was long right away.

You also need some space at the bottom to discuss briefly why you're applying to x school.

Cut some words. Or a lot.

[Clearly]

You're not applying this cycle right?