Spouse of Law School Applicant Support Group Forum

[dkdk]

Am I the only one in this boat? My husband is applying to law school, and these thick and thin envelopes (and emails, phone calls, status check pages, etc...) determine where we will be next year. It's making me very anxious! Are there any other spouses (or significant others) out there that feel my pain? Or maybe your problem is slightly different. You're 0L partner is getting driven increasingly crazy by this process and you don't know how best to support him/her?

I presume there are not any other significant others that read TLS but if you think this thread might resonate with yours, give him/her a heads up.

[Glamour]

Hello I'm not a SO of anyone applying this cycle, but last year my ex-boyfriend (then boyfriend) applied to law school and I had to hold his hand through the whole insane process. As it turns out, he got rejected from EVERYWHERE he applied to except Cornell, so it was actually really stressful and ugly, the whole process.

[A'nold]

My wife would probably love to post on this thread. I shall tell her about it......now.

[dkdk]

I am so happy to see responses! Glamour, that sounds absolutely awful. Luckily my husband's cycle is not panning out that way but I definitely did worry about it (probably more than he did)! A'nold, thanks for passing the word around and send your wife my sympathies!

[Glamour]

I am so happy to see responses! Glamour, that sounds absolutely awful. Luckily my husband's cycle is not panning out that way but I definitely did worry about it (probably more than he did)! A'nold, thanks for passing the word around and send your wife my sympathies!

Sure... he, like, THREW stuff.
Not at me, though. But he was all angry until GULC came.
I'm glad your husband's doing better Note that he's my EX boyfriend!

[apljacks]

no DK, you are not the only one in this boat! From studying alllllllll day on saturdays for the lsat to slaving over law school discussion boards, I will be glad when the decision is over and he has started school already. Of course then I guess we'll have to deal with them complaining about all the work they have to do in law school... Have you guys picked a school yet?

[pany1985]

If my girlfriend knew about TLS, she would definitely post in here

[A'nold]

Sorry, I forgot to tell her!!!!!!!!

She'll be back in town tomorrow and I will definitely tell her then.

[mrdal]

My wife would probably love to post on this thread. I shall tell her about it......now.

I will do this as well. I know I am driving her crazy. But I think she would benefit from getting on and asking questions. We actually got in a big fight about the whole issue last night. I think since her life will be affected just as much as mine, she should know everything I know and she should not just sit and take my word for it. I don't necessarily think TLS is the end all be all in law school info, but it would be a great place for her to start.

[redsox8105]

I feel bad because I'm clearly annoying my girlfriend by talking incessantly about law schools and the cities my top schools are in. I think it's the money talk that's driving her the craziest - I don't think she cares about me weighing the pro's and con's of every school's scholarship offers anymore.

[A'nold]

You know what? I went through this process with a very unhelpful SO last time I went through a cycle. A few years later and I can tell you that it makes a huge difference having someone by my side who listens to me talk about it daily and gets involved in deep conversations about law school and our choices. My wife is the best. I don't think it's a good sign when a person's SO is luke warm about the process, for many reasons.

[SoxyPirate]

The most difficult thing for my wife is that she thinks law school is law school. I have a hard time trying to explain to her why school X has a better program in so-and-so while school Y is higher ranked but more expensive and school Z is closer and has a good reputation around here but not very highly ranked....etc., etc., etc.....

EDIT: Most oft repeated line ---> "Sounds great, let's go!"

[pany1985]

Mine's particularly interested since it could very well mean her ending up quitting her job and moving to some faraway place... provided that I can convince her it's a good idea

[A'nold]

The most difficult thing for my wife is that she thinks law school is law school. I have a hard time trying to explain to her why school X has a better program in so-and-so while school Y is higher ranked but more expensive and school Z is closer and has a good reputation around here but not very highly ranked....etc., etc., etc.....

Sorry man. My wife is so awesome because she is as competitive as I am and loves learning about new things. Hell, she knows about as much as me about this stuff now and is constantly perusing this site.

[SoxyPirate]

The most difficult thing for my wife is that she thinks law school is law school. I have a hard time trying to explain to her why school X has a better program in so-and-so while school Y is higher ranked but more expensive and school Z is closer and has a good reputation around here but not very highly ranked....etc., etc., etc.....

Sorry man. My wife is so awesome because she is as competitive as I am and loves learning about new things. Hell, she knows about as much as me about this stuff now and is constantly perusing this site.

Haha...no, my wife is 100% supportive, just not quite as concerned about every intimate detail as I.

2nd most repeated line: "Is it cold there?"

[rbgrocio]

I'm not married yet but will be when law school starts. My future husband and I used to get in fight all the time about the whole law school thing. He didn't understand that I wanted to go to a better-ranked school, because he thinks LAW SCHOOL IS LAW SCHOOL.

I understand a lot of the reasons why he doesn't want to move too (too many to list) so I ended up choosing to stay in Miami. Anyway... my LSAT is not that great.

[csc2law]

My husband and I are both applying to law schools. The following have been helpful:

(1) Avoid speculation
(2) Design a spreadsheet/make a list of important things about each law school and city
(3) When one of you gets anxious, listen to their concerns. Try to follow (1).
(4) Once all choices are on the table, discuss how each would help or hinder your ultimate individual goals and relationship together. Visit each choice together if possible.

[*devo*]

Great thread. My wife and I talk about law school and where we'll end up all the time. I know 1L (and all of law school) will be very stressful and time consuming. It is VERY important that she is happy wherever we end up. All our friends and family are hear in Phoenix so it will be tough to move. She is extremely supportive though. I don't know what I'd do if she gave me a hard time about this stuff.

[bama philosophe]

Not married presently, but will be before I start 1L. This is definitely a very complicated and involved process as we're both going to be graduating from UG in May. The career opportunities for my fiance in some of the places I've applied appear to be really grim because of either the overall state of the economy, local dynamics of the job market in her field, or a combination of the two. Hell, I've only applied to schools that are relatively close to my present location because staying close to family is very important to her. Personally, I wouldn't mind going anywhere in the country so long as I liked the place. She's been very supportive during my cycle thus far. Once I started explaining to her differences in clerkship opportunities, PI jobs, and internship experiences between varying ranks, she became more receptive to the idea that ranking DOES play a serious role in getting a job you love that pays as well as it can. Now she's somewhat disappointed that she's been as of yet unable to secure a job in all but one of the places I've applied and she feels like she's holding me back. I've come to realize that this decision is not just about me, but about us. Because of this situation I've given some thought to taking a year off so she can make herself more attractive in other markets by getting a job where we are currently and getting hired with experience instead of as a new grad. This has definitely been a stressful and frustrating process, but I think it's something that's made me realize in a very personal way the complex dynamics and immense gravity of this decision.

[dkdk]

The most difficult thing for my wife is that she thinks law school is law school. I have a hard time trying to explain to her why school X has a better program in so-and-so while school Y is higher ranked but more expensive and school Z is closer and has a good reputation around here but not very highly ranked....etc., etc., etc.....

Sorry man. My wife is so awesome because she is as competitive as I am and loves learning about new things. Hell, she knows about as much as me about this stuff now and is constantly perusing this site.

These posts made me chuckle. My husband (the applicant) is way more mellow about this than I am! He figures he is in good schools and will figure it out when the time comes. I can go pretty much anywhere for the next three years, but once he finishes law school my career will probably dictate where we move next. As a result, I am leaving the law school decision to him. I think not being the one who makes the decision in the end makes it harder. I am just waiting...and trying not to make my husband crazy!

[frotteur]

It's interesting (to me) that a few of the people on this thread are getting married just before 1L starts. Is it just working out that way or is there a specific reason to marry before 1L? Being newlywed during 1L seems like it might be a turbulant way to begin a marriage.

[secondshiaprince]

80+% of the posts on this account are by the person who isn't starting law school in 2009 and is living in a far away time zone. Obviously to avoid massive confusion I just use the stats of the applicant and post as if I am them so I can tell them the reactions and what I've researched. Actually, the nice competitive spirit here has made me want to take the June LSAT and see what I get.

[findlayswimmer28]

I am also not married yet but will be by the start of 1L. My fiance and I have known for a very long time that we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together but figured we had all the time in the world to get married. He actually encouraged me to apply to law school when I was considering going back to school to become a paralegal. He is very supportive and is willing to leave a good job, sell our house, and move wherever I would like to go. We decided to get married before I started because of the amount of planning that goes in to a wedding, as well as all of the thank you's and setting up house that goes into it afterwards. By getting married in April, I will have had plenty of time to plan the wedding that we both want and afterwards, I will have plenty of time to get everything in order. Another reason we decided to get married prior to 1L is that it will be less expensive for me as I will go on his insurance, cell phone, etc. It is less expensive to add someone to an account than it is to have two seperate policies/accounts. His love and support are amazing and I am so thankful that he understands how much I will be putting in to this. It is great to have such a partner.

[rbgrocio]

It's interesting (to me) that a few of the people on this thread are getting married just before 1L starts. Is it just working out that way or is there a specific reason to marry before 1L? Being newlywed during 1L seems like it might be a turbulant way to begin a marriage.

I've been with my fiance for two and a half years. We are not getting married because of law school, but because we love each other. It just so happened that he proposed and i said yes and we had to pick a day and we picked August 1st. That's all.

[ezpar]

This law school decision has been a huge source of tension lately. My SO is just as stressed about this situation as I am, and she's been distancing herself from the whole thing as a result. This is such a huge decision that greatly affects both of us, so the current dynamics have not really been helping. I'm jealous of everyone that says their partner has been super-supportive. Mine wants to be but I know it's extremely difficult for her.

It's hard to balance everything. She's finishing up a graduate program and might be entering another one in the fall, and her line of work doesn't exactly have a ton of portability. She says she wants me to make a decision based only on what's best for me, but I think we all know that's pretty much impossible. I followed her to her grad school, but we knew it'd only be for a year and that I'd be entering law school next fall. Now I'm going to school for three years and her future (for work and education) is up in the air. Frankly, I don't blame her for how she's been taking it.

Hell, I think there should be a support group for anyone that's bringing a spouse/partner to law school, haha.