The New T14 Forum

[Mad Hatter]

Each year, prospective law students find themselves faced with a myriad of rankings, and no guidance as to which to follow. Indeed, each is crippled by a severe flaw: There is the USNWR ranking, which doesn't weigh employment heavily enough and includes cost per student; the NLJ ranking, which doesn't include boutiques; the Vault ranking, which is older than Abe Vigoda; the Princeton Review ranking, which is random; the Cooley ranking, which is made by Cooley; and the Leiter ranking, which seems good statistically but somehow always points to Chicago. In an effort to supplant the morass of inherently weak rankings that currently exist, I have decided to create the true definitive ranking system, one that takes into account all that a prospective law student should consider when choosing among the many law schools that populate are great country. What is this factor, you ask? It's simple: Tap water quality. Nothing brings employers, faculty, and top students to a school in droves like top-quality tap water, and prospective students are remiss if they gloss over this critical element. Without further ado, the rankings, with all important statistics in brackets:

1. Roger Williams Law School (THMs: 6.7 ppb/HAAs: 2.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
2. Texas Wesleyan Law School (THMs: 22.6 ppb/HAAs: 11.9 ppb/nitrate: 0.2 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
3. Charleston School of Law (THMs: 23.7 ppb/HAAs: 21.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Boston University School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Boston College Law School (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. New England School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Northeastern University School of Law (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
4. Suffolk University Law School (THMs: 3.7 ppb/HAAs: 3.7 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
5. University of Hawaii School of Law (THMs: 0.8 ppb/HAAs:<0.1 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
6. The University of Texas Law School (THMs: 30.6 ppb/HAAs: 14.8 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
8. St. Louis University Law School (THMs: 15.4 ppb/HAAs: 19.2 ppb/nitrate: 2.7 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
8. Washington University in St. Louis Law School (THMs: 15.4 ppb/HAAs: 19.2 ppb/nitrate: 2.7 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
9. University of Minnesota Law School (THMs: 29.6 ppb/HAAs: 27.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
9. University of St. Thomas School of Law (THMs: 29.6 ppb/HAAs: 27.3 ppb/nitrate: 0.4 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
10. University of Richmond Law School (THMs: 15.0 ppb/HAAs: 21.5 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
11. SMU Dedman School of Law (THMs: 32.1 ppb/HAAs: 24.0 ppb/nitrate: 0.3 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Benjamin N. Cardozo School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Brooklyn Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Columbia University Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Fordham University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. New York Law School (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. New York University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. Pace University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. St. John's University School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
12. City University of New York School of Law (THMs: 30.8 ppb/HAAs: 32.0 ppb/nitrate: n/a/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)
13. Oklahoma City University School of Law (THMs: 40.0 ppb/HAAs: 23.5 ppb/nitrate: 0.1 ppm/arsenic: 2.8 ppb)
14. Georgetown

In an ironic twist of fate, Harvard Law just barely missed the cut at #4 because they are not quite in Boston, but only near Boston. Also, nice try University of Honolulu, trying to game the rankings with your sneaky name. I know you're in California.

[phillywc]

UCLA will make it one of these years

[Crowing]

UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

[laxbrah420]

hahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahhahahhaahhahahhhaaaaaaahhhhaaaaa

[Mad Hatter]

UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

This is not the place for your 4chan-appropriate musings. This is a serious thread about the relative merits of various institutions of legal education.

[gaud]

wurr arazona state?

[Mad Hatter]

wurr arazona state?

As a student with above average thirst, this ranking should be of particular interest to you. Consider transferring.

[Crowing]

wurr arazona state?

Need there to be water before it can be tested for quality bro

[phillywc]

UCLA will make it one of these years

I LOVE CHIE SATONAKA

ME TOO!

Chie da best. Just finished NG+. Such a great game.

[rad lulz]

Where are the DROVES of employers going

[Yukos]

GUCL always manages to hang on to the 14 spot.

[NinerFan]

I know it's just slapped on there as a joke, but I feel compelled to say that Georgetown is in DC, which had or possibly still has not-so-good water quality, no?

[Mad Hatter]

I know it's just slapped on there as a joke, but I feel compelled to say that Georgetown is in DC, which had or possibly still has not-so-good water quality, no?

Georgetown's death grip on the #14 spot transcends water quality. Also, they have enough students to qualify as a distinct city.

Fear not, Yalies: once AIII numbers are released, I will of course be adding them to the nitrate levels. Otherwise you would be penalized for your greatness, which is entirely unacceptable.

[HBBJohnStamos]

hahhahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahhahhahahahahahahahahahahahahhahaahahahahhahahhaahhahahhhaaaaaaahhhhaaaaa

[tino1317]

Well, I'm sold. WUSTL it is.

[gaud]

wurr arazona state?

As a student with above average thirst, this ranking should be of particular interest to you. Consider transferring.

Well played

[magp90]

At least this quashes the BC v. BU debate

[nickb285]

.

[Nonconsecutive]

[polareagle]

.

[jkpolk]

7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)

Alas, George Mason law school is located on a separate campus in Arlington, VA, which shares its water supply with DC. As a native Arlingtonian, I remember well the occasional boil-water warnings, and there's no way it makes the T14.

DC's water supply is only fucked up because of the lead pipes in the city, not the source.

[Mad Hatter]

7. George Mason School of Law (THMs: 23.0 ppb/HAAs: 16.0 ppb/nitrate: 1.0 ppm/arsenic: 0.0 ppb)

Alas, George Mason law school is located on a separate campus in Arlington, VA, which shares its water supply with DC. As a native Arlingtonian, I remember well the occasional boil-water warnings, and there's no way it makes the T14.

The HAA level does seem somewhat high, but I think that's just part of the dropoff after the T6.

[Kurohoshi]

Having lived in Philadelphia when they found trace amounts of 56 different prescription drugs in the water supply I can testify that Penn, Drexel, and Temple, deserve a place. A cup a day keeps the doctor away.


Source: http://usatoday30.usatoday.com/news/nat ... ater_N.htm