Would you tell a friend they're making a mistake? Forum

dabbadon8 · Post by **dabbadon8** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:04 pm

If you had a friend who was about to go to a T2 at around 60k a year COA and didn't seem cut out to be a lawyer in general, would you say something or just let them go through with it?

DoubleChecks · Post by **DoubleChecks** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:06 pm

depends on how close you are to the friend, the relationship you have with the friend, and if you actually care about the friend -- hey, if telling your friend straight up is too harsh, at least make him/her do some goddamn research first. if after a GOOD AMOUNT of research he/she still wants to go all-in on #23 at the roulette table, who are you to stop him/her from making stupid choices?

note: this assumes there are no other factors at play here, i.e. T2 is in the local market friend wants to work in; loaded family that is only willing to pay for this (or a) law school; already has a job lined up, etc.

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:07 pm

Just tell him he should check out TLS it's this really awesome website where everybody is really nice and just hangs out and talks about law school.

bk1 · Post by **bk1** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:09 pm

DoubleChecks wrote:depends on how close you are to the friend, the relationship you have with the friend, and if you actually care about the friend -- hey, if telling your friend straight up is too harsh, at least make him/her do some goddamn research first. if after a GOOD AMOUNT of research he/she still wants to go all-in on #23 at the roulette table, who are you to stop him/her from making stupid choices?

note: this assumes there are no other factors at play here, i.e. T2 is in the local market friend wants to work in; loaded family that is only willing to pay for this (or a) law school; already has a job lined up, etc.

+1

thesealocust · Post by **thesealocust** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:10 pm

I tell STRANGERS not to go to law school for fuck's sake.

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:14 pm

I had a guy on a plane tell me not to go to law school when I was an 0L. Obviously, I did not listen to him.

bk1 · Post by **bk1** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:14 pm

thesealocust wrote:I tell STRANGERS not to go to law school for fuck's sake.

The internet is crazy like that.

dabbadon8 · Post by **dabbadon8** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:15 pm

Bronte wrote:Just tell him he should check out TLS it's this really awesome website where everybody is really nice and just hangs out and talks about law school.

Ha, well at this point I am think it is too late for TLS to save them. Worst part is they got into a T1 state school, that is generally well respected, with instate tuition. I literally told them, "I think you should go there, it offers you the best job prospect for the least debt." Though they did ask me today to help them decide between two T2's they were deposited at, maybe I should suggest they make a thread here...

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:19 pm

dabbadon8 wrote:
Bronte wrote:Just tell him he should check out TLS it's this really awesome website where everybody is really nice and just hangs out and talks about law school.
Ha, well at this point I am think it is too late for TLS to save them. Worst part is they got into a T1 state school, that is generally well respected, with instate tuition. I literally told them, "I think you should go there, it offers you the best job prospect for the least debt." Though they did ask me today to help them decide between two T2's they were deposited at, maybe I should suggest they make a thread here...

He might get a little pissed when your advice results in him getting pwnt, but you could always feign ignorance. Does he know that it's risky or is he oblivious? If he already knows, give up. If he doesn't, you could tell him that the market's bad right now and some schools are struggling, and that he might want to see what some strangers think. I would warn him first that people can be a little... frank.

Stringer Bell · Post by **Stringer Bell** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:20 pm

You should tell them in a tactful way but don't force it down their throat.

flexityflex86 · Post by **flexityflex86** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:23 pm

id talk about the riskiness of 60k a yr for a tier 2, but who are you to say who is cut out to be a lawyer? is this all your years of legal experience talking?

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:24 pm

flexityflex86 wrote:id talk about the riskiness of 60k a yr for a tier 2, but who are you to say who is cut out to be a lawyer? is this all your years of legal experience talking?

Yeah I didn't see the part him not being cut out to be a lawyers. Definitely would not mention that.

paratactical · Post by **paratactical** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:25 pm

dabbadon8 wrote:
Bronte wrote:Just tell him he should check out TLS it's this really awesome website where everybody is really nice and just hangs out and talks about law school.
Ha, well at this point I am think it is too late for TLS to save them. Worst part is they got into a T1 state school, that is generally well respected, with instate tuition. I literally told them, "I think you should go there, it offers you the best job prospect for the least debt." Though they did ask me today to help them decide between two T2's they were deposited at, maybe I should suggest they make a thread here...

If this person got a T1 instate and chose to deposit at T2s with 60k/yr COA, it's probably too late for anybody to tell them anything. Link him to JDUnderground so he'll know where to go when he's bitter later.

flcath · Post by **flcath** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:30 pm

I wouldn't do it unless it's a family member or a truly close friend.

Otherwise they go to LS anyway, and resent you as an elitist.

dabbadon8 · Post by **dabbadon8** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:33 pm

Bronte wrote:
dabbadon8 wrote:
Bronte wrote:Just tell him he should check out TLS it's this really awesome website where everybody is really nice and just hangs out and talks about law school.
Ha, well at this point I am think it is too late for TLS to save them. Worst part is they got into a T1 state school, that is generally well respected, with instate tuition. I literally told them, "I think you should go there, it offers you the best job prospect for the least debt." Though they did ask me today to help them decide between two T2's they were deposited at, maybe I should suggest they make a thread here...
He might get a little pissed when your advice results in him getting pwnt, but you could always feign ignorance. Does he know that it's risky or is he oblivious? If he already knows, give up. If he doesn't, you could tell him that the market's bad right now and some schools are struggling, and that he might want to see what some strangers think. I would warn him first that people can be a little... frank.

I honestly don't think they know what they are getting themselves into any sense. I know it would be rough to hear a day or two before you're about to commit that you are making a terrible choice, I don't even know if that is enough time to come to terms with it and actually back out. That being said, I think I might say something, or at least suggest making a thread here. I would rather hurt or even sacrifice the friendship then have them be buried in debt.

I said they didn't seem to be cut out, cause they aren't a great student, didn't do nearly enough research into a major life decision, and has problems with motivation among other things. Obviously I am no expert and could very well be wrong. Just my opinion.

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 8:37 pm

dabbadon8 wrote:I said they didn't seem to be cut out, cause they aren't a great student, didn't do nearly enough research into a major life decision, and has problems with motivation among other things. Obviously I am no expert and could very well be wrong. Just my opinion.

Those factors are probably already reflected in the schools he was able to get into, so there's no need to separately voice that point.

fingersxd · Post by **fingersxd** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:29 pm

I think you need to speak up or point him to TLS. By the sounds of it, your friend is likely to have a terrible time in school (possibly academically, definitely financially). Re-take/re-apply sounds like it would be right up his alley.

Plus, if TLS can't convince him law school is a mistake, I don't know who can.

lawgod · Post by **lawgod** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:35 pm

thesealocust wrote:I tell STRANGERS not to go to law school for f---'s sake.

Me too. I met a guy on a ski lift in SLC who said he wanted to go to law school. "What do you do now?" "I snowboard".

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:39 pm

lawgod wrote:
thesealocust wrote:I tell STRANGERS not to go to law school for f---'s sake.
Me too. I met a guy on a ski lift in SLC who said he wanted to go to law school. "What do you do now?" "I snowboard".

Snowboarding's probably about as good of prep as anything.

flexityflex86 · Post by **flexityflex86** » Wed Jul 13, 2011 10:53 pm

some people also discount what you say cause they get bad advise.

i held off on applying to UVA until the last minute of apps as I didn't research the school till Feb as close minded people from where i grew up said, "Oh Virginia... what's that?" It was only when I researched it I learned how awesome it was.

other people told me to just take a full ride to a TTT, and make law review over top 14.

other people said highest ranked regardless of money even if it's a 1 spot difference.

other people said notre dame over usc at the same COA because they heard of notre dame.

people get so much bad advise, they can't tell what is good advise.

TheFactor · Post by **TheFactor** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:37 am

flcath wrote:I wouldn't do it unless it's a family member or a truly close friend.

Otherwise they go to LS anyway, and resent you as an elitist.

This.

It's too late in the ballgame now. Your friend is going to go to law school no matter what you say.

Bronte · Post by **Bronte** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:41 am

TheFactor wrote:
flcath wrote:I wouldn't do it unless it's a family member or a truly close friend.

Otherwise they go to LS anyway, and resent you as an elitist.
This.

It's too late in the ballgame now. Your friend is going to go to law school no matter what you say.

Oh you're such a n00b lol. No matter what he says. It's a widespread practice ITE to actually lock 0Ls in a basement and keep them alive on bread and water for three years. I would only do this if it were a family member or close friend though.

boilerplated · Post by **boilerplated** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 9:14 am

If this person has already quit his job, signed a lease, made a tuition payment, etc., then anything you tell him is just going to be counterproductive. Even if he took your advice, his life would be in a painful state of limbo and you would get the blame. He may as well go to law school and find these things out for himself (or surprise you and prove you wrong).

On the other hand, if backing out now wouldn't put this person in any worse of a position than he was in last March, then have a talk. But I would frame it more in a "have you thought of this and this and this" kind of way rather than telling him he's not cut out for it.

ahduth · Post by **ahduth** » Thu Jul 14, 2011 12:58 pm

dabbadon8 wrote:If you had a friend who was about to go to a T2 at around 60k a year COA and didn't seem cut out to be a lawyer in general, would you say something or just let them go through with it?

Meh, buck up and tell them what you think. You'll feel worse three years from now when they're flailing around trying to get a job. The truth isn't always easy.

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