Moving for Law School - Wife Hates the idea Forum

[MJS83]

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[Kilpatrick]

Those are pretty good numbers for BC and BU. Why not just apply to those two schools as well as the other ones on your list. That way if you get in to one of those with a decent scholarship you won't have a problem. And if you don't, then you can tell your wife that at least you tried.

But the real answer is you shouldn't settle for less than T14 with those numbers.

[Nom Sawyer]

Umm yeah those are great numbers for BU/BC... Your definitely looking at large scholarships to these schools most likely.

[MJS83]

Those are pretty good numbers for BC and BU. Why not just apply to those two schools as well as the other ones on your list. That way if you get in to one of those with a decent scholarship you won't have a problem. And if you don't, then you can tell your wife that at least you tried.

But the real answer is you shouldn't settle for less than T14 with those numbers.

Okay...

Here's what I'm considering

Harvard
Penn
UVA
W&M
BC/BU

[romothesavior]

With respect to the scholarship/financial issue, you are dead wrong. Looks like your wife will be winning this battle. Your numbers are great for BU/BC and I'd be shocked if you didn't get great scholarship money.

With that said, you can get into much better schools.

[Scurredsitless1]

I would postpone this dispute with your wife until you know where you're in and what money they are offering you. When you have all the information, you're solution might be much more clear.

Good Luck!

[MJS83]

With respect to the scholarship/financial issue, you are dead wrong. Looks like your wife will be winning this battle. Your numbers are great for BU/BC and I'd be shocked if you didn't get great scholarship money.

With that said, you can get into much better schools.

Hah, so my chances of getting out of the Boston area have effectively disappeared

Wife: 1
Me: 0

I would postpone this dispute with your wife until you know where you're in and what money they are offering you. When you have all the information, you're solution might be much more clear.

Good Luck!

Good advice, thanks +1

[Lucidity]

How are your finances? I often find that couples who are married that young, especially right out of college, are under tremendous debt pressure. It's stupid to shoulder even MORE unneeded debt if it can be avoided. I'd say apply to everything, then when the decisions come in, sit down with your wife and compare the cost difference between moving for a beefy scholarship versus whatever you would pay if you stayed in Boston. If the difference is great enough, you might find her much more receptive to the idea.

Honestly i think your wife is being a bit silly, if the facts are as you present them to us. A young married couple should not be looking to plant their roots, especially not in the town they grew up in. Live a little, go out and see the world, and if it saves you cash thats a win win situation.

[ZachOda]

Sounds like you want out of Boston?
I'm a native Bostonian too, and I'm considering leaving the area. My family isn't very keen on the idea, either, but I think you can pull it off. If you have the time, maybe try a trip to VA to visit your family and show your wife the area. Who knows, maybe she will fall in love with it, maybe whatever doubts she has will go away, maybe you'll find that you can't imagine living in the VA area for the rest of your life.

I completely agree with you Lucidity, if the finances aren't there, don't hurt your future by taking out larger loans by staying put. But with those numbers, BC/BU may be selling yourself short. I'd take a strong look at UVA, especially with the fact that you're a resident.

[MJS83]

How are your finances? I often find that couples who are married that young, especially right out of college, are under tremendous debt pressure. It's stupid to shoulder even MORE unneeded debt if it can be avoided. I'd say apply to everything, then when the decisions come in, sit down with your wife and compare the cost difference between moving for a beefy scholarship versus whatever you would pay if you stayed in Boston. If the difference is great enough, you might find her much more receptive to the idea.

Honestly i think your wife is being a bit silly, if the facts are as you present them to us. A young married couple should not be looking to plant their roots, especially not in the town they grew up in. Live a little, go out and see the world, and if it saves you cash thats a win win situation.

We both have undergraduate debt that we're currently paying off. I come from a similar school of thought. As a young married couple, shouldering more debt is a terrible decision..

As for living a little... we've both spent time in numerous US cities including Pittsburgh, Tucson, and Portland. I believe my wife's desire to stay in Boston stems from the fact that our former careers required us to move quite a bit (we were Ballet Dancers). She dreads the idea of another move because our mobile history.

Really, I think your suggestion makes the most sense. We need to sit down once offers have been made, take a hard look at the finances, and make the decision which affords us the best opportunity to thrive as a couple as well as individuals pursuing separate careers.

[let/them/eat/cake]

How are your finances? I often find that couples who are married that young, especially right out of college, are under tremendous debt pressure. It's stupid to shoulder even MORE unneeded debt if it can be avoided. I'd say apply to everything, then when the decisions come in, sit down with your wife and compare the cost difference between moving for a beefy scholarship versus whatever you would pay if you stayed in Boston. If the difference is great enough, you might find her much more receptive to the idea.

Honestly i think your wife is being a bit silly, if the facts are as you present them to us. A young married couple should not be looking to plant their roots, especially not in the town they grew up in. Live a little, go out and see the world, and if it saves you cash thats a win win situation.

We both have undergraduate debt that we're currently paying off. I come from a similar school of thought. As a young married couple, shouldering more debt is a terrible decision..

As for living a little... we've both spent time in numerous US cities including Pittsburgh, Tucson, and Portland. I believe my wife's desire to stay in Boston stems from the fact that our former careers required us to move quite a bit (we were Ballet Dancers). She dreads the idea of another move because our mobile history.

Really, I think your suggestion makes the most sense. We need to sit down once offers have been made, take a hard look at the finances, and make the decision which affords us the best opportunity to thrive as a couple as well as individuals pursuing separate careers.

there's a joke about third position in here somewhere, if only i could find it.

second that emotion to check out UVA with the misses bc if you're instate there you'd prob be in excellent shape for them; BU/BC apply early and hope they throw bunches of loot at you--or maybe hope they don't so that it's not that much different than going to UVA and u can get those fleet feet out of Boston.

[thickfreakness]

If you're a VA resident with those numbers I think you stand a great chance of getting into UVA via regular decision, and they might throw some scholarship money your way. Just make sure you apply early.

[bilbobaggins]

I was offered a decent amount from BU with worse numbers.

[MJS83]

How are your finances? I often find that couples who are married that young, especially right out of college, are under tremendous debt pressure. It's stupid to shoulder even MORE unneeded debt if it can be avoided. I'd say apply to everything, then when the decisions come in, sit down with your wife and compare the cost difference between moving for a beefy scholarship versus whatever you would pay if you stayed in Boston. If the difference is great enough, you might find her much more receptive to the idea.

Honestly i think your wife is being a bit silly, if the facts are as you present them to us. A young married couple should not be looking to plant their roots, especially not in the town they grew up in. Live a little, go out and see the world, and if it saves you cash thats a win win situation.

We both have undergraduate debt that we're currently paying off. I come from a similar school of thought. As a young married couple, shouldering more debt is a terrible decision..

As for living a little... we've both spent time in numerous US cities including Pittsburgh, Tucson, and Portland. I believe my wife's desire to stay in Boston stems from the fact that our former careers required us to move quite a bit (we were Ballet Dancers). She dreads the idea of another move because our mobile history.

Really, I think your suggestion makes the most sense. We need to sit down once offers have been made, take a hard look at the finances, and make the decision which affords us the best opportunity to thrive as a couple as well as individuals pursuing separate careers.

there's a joke about third position in here somewhere, if only i could find it.

second that emotion to check out UVA with the misses bc if you're instate there you'd prob be in excellent shape for them; BU/BC apply early and hope they throw bunches of loot at you--or maybe hope they don't so that it's not that much different than going to UVA and u can get those fleet feet out of Boston.

Third's for beginners it's all about fifth position! But I'm retired soo...

My wife specifically said, "I am not living in Charlottesville!"

I'm trying to get her to visit Monticello with me so I can be like, "oh, and there's UVA"

[romothesavior]

Honestly i think your wife is being a bit silly, if the facts are as you present them to us. A young married couple should not be looking to plant their roots, especially not in the town they grew up in. Live a little, go out and see the world, and if it saves you cash thats a win win situation.

I don't think his wife is being ridiculous. If she is happy where they are and she doesn't want to move, then he needs to keep that in mind. This is one of the consequences of getting married; you give up a bit of autonomy.

Also, why shouldn't a young married couple be looking to plant their roots in the town they grew up in, or anywhere for that matter? Maybe you wouldn't want to do it, but there is no harm in doing so; I know that once I graduated LS and get married, I'm going to be putting down roots.

[jdhonest]

go to UVA and pick up a sorority girl (wife #2)
/ thread.

[mpasi]

Can you work something out for visits back to Boston? Before the holidays, I mean. Spend Labor Day weekend in Boston. Fall travel deals are really good right now. Or, can someone from the family come out? Does she know about Skype? That's not fair to you. Boston isn't going anywhere. Her family can visit, talk on the phone/online, etc. I know it sucks to give up your family, but you're her family, too.

[Azmatt]

Divorce after you commit to where you want to go to school. No real alimony with no real income while in law school. Prenuptual agreement with new wife before making big $. Profit. Recycle wives while affording your Cris Craft collection.

[Azmatt]

Even better... divorce her then go to BU with big scholly $$$. That would make you my hero.

[Ty Webb]

I'd say quit being a ballet dancer and make some decisions that are best for yourself and your family.

HTH.

[Informative]

BC's placement in Boston is significant. Take the money, join that ole' boys network in Boston and keep your wife happy. Graduate with biglaw and little debt. Congrats.

[jks289]

My husband and I went though a lot of the same issues. The best advice you've gotten is to apply and see what happens in terms of acceptances and scholarships. The decision becomes clearer (if not necessarily easier) once you both are looking at concrete options. With your numbers you are looking at schools that will have national or very broadly regional reputations. It is very likely Boston will remain a viable market following graduation. None of the schools you are considering put you all that far from home, and it is reasonable for her to cope with visits, etc for three years. Give her time, and you'll come to the right decision for you both. It does sound as though there may be an underlying issue of where you want to settle down long term. That is more complicated, and while you'll need to address it make sure it doesn't get wrapped up in the law school decisions.

This is part of the give and take of a good marriage. You sound like you really love your wife and wants what's best for your family. As someone who has been through it, trust me it will all work out. Good luck!

[romothesavior]

My husband and I went though a lot of the same issues. The best advice you've gotten is to apply and see what happens in terms of acceptances and scholarships. The decision becomes clearer (if not necessarily easier) once you both are looking at concrete options. With your numbers you are looking at schools that will have national or very broadly regional reputations. It is very likely Boston will remain a viable market following graduation. None of the schools you are considering put you all that far from home, and it is reasonable for her to cope with visits, etc for three years. Give her time, and you'll come to the right decision for you both. It does sound as though there may be an underlying issue of where you want to settle down long term. That is more complicated, and while you'll need to address it make sure it doesn't get wrapped up in the law school decisions.

This is part of the give and take of a good marriage. You sound like you really love your wife and wants what's best for your family. As someone who has been through it, trust me it will all work out. Good luck!

^^^
Great advice.

And hey jks!!!

[Lisa7n99]

your wife has good points but its not a good idea for either of you to call the other selfish. i think its just a difference in priorities. ask her why being near family is so important and see if there is a way to mitigate her concerns if you were out of state (can you visit frequently? have family come see you?). also, explain to her why you're concerned about debt. for my husband and I, debt is a factor because have dreams of reitrement and a home and need to make sacrifices now in order to make what we both want a reality.....imagine what you could do with the money you save in potential scholarships! in the long term, 3 years and a starving student budget is nothing. if framed that way, its possible she might at least give more thought to your argument. best of luck.

[MJS83]

I'd say quit being a ballet dancer and make some decisions that are best for yourself and your family.

HTH.

I quit being a ballet dancer. I'm finishing a degree and I'm heading to law school... I'd say that falls in-line with your advice... but I'm already doing it.

It does sound as though there may be an underlying issue of where you want to settle down long term. That is more complicated, and while you'll need to address it make sure it doesn't get wrapped up in the law school decisions.

You nailed it- it's something we're certainly going to have to address but I hope not before law school. I view law school a stepping stone to a career... she sees it as the first place to plant your feet. While there's merit to her thinking, it limits my prospects especially regarding the potential to lessen debt and achieve admissions top 14 school.

Thanks for your advice JKS! Getting the specifics will certainly help the process as we'll be able to see concrete possibilities instead of the "well what if..."'s