Destroy my personal statement Forum

[Onessimus]

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[CanadianWolf]

Maybe I am missing the point of your personal statement, but how will this essay help you get into law school ?

Again, I just don't get it. My impression is that this writing should be titled "Thoughts of a Grandson" rather than as your personal statement for law school applications.

[Woobinator11]

Agreed with Wolf.

I feel like i know a lot about your grandfather... but nothing about you besides that you like to argue.

[Onessimus]

Yeah I thought maybe it described me indirectly through my analysis of my grandfather a bit, but you're both right that I'm probably not describing myself sufficiently. I was trying to tie my grandfather's strengths and failings and my realization of them into my interest in Justice with a capital j and the law. Really, I'm having a hard time coming up with interesting information from my own life to craft into a narrative, thus why I thought I'd crib someone else's life story and relate it myself. So I'm guessing that in your experiences, personal statements need to be much more about the applicant themselves, huh? Hmm... maybe this is more diversity statement material?

[Flips88]

90% of this is not about you. Do not submit this

[CanadianWolf]

Start by writing about why you want to go to law school & become an attorney.

[SisterRayVU]

This is good as a piece of writing but it's not tailored to explaining why you'd be a strong student in law school. If you shift midway through to your experiences in achieving what you want via the inspiration your grandfather gave you, etc, and resolve it in your desire to pursue a legal education, it'd be much stronger.

[jcarsen]

There's absolutely no problem with talking about your grandfather, and how he influenced you, but I agree that in its current form your statement is too much about your grandfather and not enough about you. It's also a bit long generally.

Best,
Jen Carsen
Law School Statement Editor
http://www.spam.com

[Nicholasnickynic]

"destroy my personal statement"

Okay. It sucks. What a piece of shit. Give up. My dog shits better personal statements.

[Onessimus]

"destroy my personal statement"

Okay. It sucks. What a piece of shit. Give up. My dog shits better personal statements.

This is the best you could do? This is so generic it wouldn't even pierce the least deluded prospective law student's emotional shell! I was hoping for something a little more cutting, to be honest.

Thanks for the feedback re: length and more focus on myself, Jen and SisterRay. I suppose I should've known that already, but there's no tricking myself now. I'll probably write a new personal statement with an entirely self-focused structure, then maybe incorporate some of that material into this.

[Nicholasnickynic]

"destroy my personal statement"

Okay. It sucks. What a piece of shit. Give up. My dog shits better personal statements.

This is the best you could do? This is so generic it wouldn't even pierce the least deluded prospective law student's emotional shell! I was hoping for something a little more cutting, to be honest.

Thanks for the feedback re: length and more focus on myself, Jen and SisterRay. I suppose I should've known that already, but there's no tricking myself now. I'll probably write a new personal statement with an entirely self-focused structure, then maybe incorporate some of that material into this.

Good point. In my defense, I didn't read a single word- so its hard to not be generic.

[dani_burhop]

This is memorable and funny and could easily be repurposed into a diversity statement, which does not have to focus so closely on you. The PS does need to speak directly to your character. You're an engaging writer - good luck!

Best, Dani