Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

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hoosierdaddy
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Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:43 pm

Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby hoosierdaddy » Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:53 pm

I am honored by the offer of admission to the Full-time Division of [________] School of Law. I appreciate the confidence [________] has in my ability to succeed. As a [________], I have worked with many [________] based attorneys. I have always been impressed with the [________] graduates who have represented my clients. In addition, I am especially interested in [________] Tax Law Program and I hope to participate in the [________] Clinic.

It is my understanding that merit based scholarships will be awarded in early [________]. Given my strong admission profile - LSAT: 160, GPA: 3.53 at [________] School of Business, and approximately [________] years of professional work experience - I respectfully request that you take into consideration the merit based scholarship offers I have received from other schools.

I have enclosed scholarship letters from [________] and [________]. [________] has offered $45,000 and [________] has offered a full tuition scholarship. When compared to these schools, [________] is my top choice. Due to the cost of living in [________], however, I must give serious consideration to these generous offers. A strong scholarship offer from [________] would make my final decision easy.

Thank you very much for taking time to review my request. I look forward to [________]'s response with great anticipation. Please feel free to contact me with any questions you may have.

CyLaw
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Joined: Thu Jul 17, 2008 1:59 pm

Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby CyLaw » Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:57 pm

[________] is so TTT. Why would you want to go there?
:)

Anyways. It looks good to me actually. It seems well thought out to me.

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WhiskeyGuy
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Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby WhiskeyGuy » Sat Jan 23, 2010 9:22 pm

Does the school hyphenate "Full-time"?
Also, your parenthetical phrase in the second paragraph should be between em dashes (--).

The substance is great. Your sincerity rings through.

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Georgiana
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Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby Georgiana » Sat Jan 23, 2010 9:29 pm

You're trying to negotiate before they even make their first offer? I'm not sure how I feel about that.

The substance is fine for a negotiation letter though.

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js87
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Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby js87 » Sat Jan 23, 2010 9:53 pm

Looks good to me. I do have a question for everyone, though: Should scholarship negotiation be done via email or snail mail?

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Georgiana
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Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby Georgiana » Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:05 pm

js87 wrote:Looks good to me. I do have a question for everyone, though: Should scholarship negotiation be done via email or snail mail?

I did all of my communications over the phone or via email. Snail mail seems pretty worthless in most cases. They are ok receiving your entire application electronically, I would assume they also like to get additional materials electronically.

hoosierdaddy
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:43 pm

Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby hoosierdaddy » Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:38 pm

WhiskeyGuy wrote:Does the school hyphenate "Full-time"?
Also, your parenthetical phrase in the second paragraph should be between em dashes (--).

The substance is great. Your sincerity rings through.


Yes the acceptance letter hyphenates "full-time" and because of your question, I just checked the website and it also has it that way. Thanks on the em dashes. Now fixed.

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Dignan
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Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby Dignan » Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:39 pm

I have two quick bits of advice:

1. Wait for the school to make an offer before negotiating.

2. Cut out the autobiographical information and your GPA/LSAT info. The law school already has that information; they know how strong of an applicant you are. By repeating it, you run the risk of coming off as arrogant. I think you just need to emphasize three things: (1) you are very interested in attending the school; (2) financial support is a very important factor for you; and (3) another school has offered you better financial support.

hoosierdaddy
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:43 pm

Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby hoosierdaddy » Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:41 pm

Georgiana wrote:
js87 wrote:Looks good to me. I do have a question for everyone, though: Should scholarship negotiation be done via email or snail mail?

I did all of my communications over the phone or via email. Snail mail seems pretty worthless in most cases. They are ok receiving your entire application electronically, I would assume they also like to get additional materials electronically.


I'm probably going to send a hardcopy as well as an email.

hoosierdaddy
Posts: 10
Joined: Sat Jan 23, 2010 8:43 pm

Re: Please review my scholarship negotiation letter

Postby hoosierdaddy » Sat Jan 23, 2010 10:47 pm

Dignan wrote:I have two quick bits of advice:

1. Wait for the school to make an offer before negotiating.

2. Cut out the autobiographical information and your GPA/LSAT info. The law school already has that information; they know how strong of an applicant you are. By repeating it, you run the risk of coming off as arrogant. I think you just need to emphasize three things: (1) you are very interested in attending the school; (2) financial support is a very important factor for you; and (3) another school has offered you better financial support.



Thanks, perhaps you are right. My main concern is timing. This particular school's scholarship announcements come 15 to 30 days before the deadline for making non-refundable deposits at 2 of the 3 schools. I figured strike while the iron is hot before they make the decision - that way its not down to the wire.




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