Having a baby during law school?

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Corsair
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Corsair » Mon Aug 04, 2008 12:19 pm

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Dania
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Dania » Mon Aug 04, 2008 1:52 pm

there is a girl in my school who had her baby in the end of october/early november (i don't know the day exactly) of our first semester of 1L year, right before our finals in december. she made law review. i know she had tremendous support from her parents. she is not married and the father is not involved at all with the baby.

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DelDad
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby DelDad » Mon Aug 04, 2008 2:33 pm

A woman in my class is planing to have a baby during 3L (She already has a two year old). She is taking an extra course each semester this year, and will be take one class on campus each 3L semester (in the evening, when her husband is home from work), with the rest of her credits being made up of journal, moot court, and indep. study credits.

From my wife's experience (baby during 4th year med school), I would suggest trying to time it so you aren't visibly pregnant during 2L interviews.

Chem_PhD
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Chem_PhD » Mon Aug 04, 2008 3:24 pm

I had a good friend who became pregnant during 1L with twins. She is tiny at 4'11" and had a very difficult pregnancy with two babies. She ultimately ended up on bedrest for the last month of her pregnancy and ended up missing her spring 1L finals. Her professors were all amazingly cooperative and let her take make-up finals at the end of 1L summer for the incompletes she'd received for spring semester. She started 2L year with two 5 month-olds and a full set of grades. To the best of my knowledge, this didn't hinder her at all during 2L OCI.

I think the biggest stress for them was money. Her husband is an engineer and he lost his job during this time. Since she was in school they were restricted to a single geographic location, making it very hard for him to find another job. I know they were very stressed for a long time trying to make ends meet as a family of four on only her law school loans.

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Ginger123
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Ginger123 » Mon Aug 04, 2008 4:02 pm

There are some well-read law school mommy blogs out there that might help you see what its like.

http://diaryoflawschoolmom.blogspot.com/

http://butterflyfish1.blogspot.com/

--LinkRemoved--

http://lawschoolmama.blogspot.com/

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sbjohnsn
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby sbjohnsn » Tue Aug 05, 2008 1:18 pm

3L year during winter would be best - have the baby after finals and take a couple weeks to bond with the baby before finshing the last semester.

plsgodletmetransfer
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby plsgodletmetransfer » Mon Sep 01, 2008 5:19 am

Honestly, I have been thinking of having a baby during law school as well. I just can't decide when the best possible time to impregnate someone would be. I am thinking right now would be best, because I would like to do a summer associates for a firm in Paris, and that way I can skip town before the birth, then I am planning on transferring so I would be pretty far away from my baby's momma. Oh yeah, I have this whole thing planned out.

Rayster
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Rayster » Mon Sep 01, 2008 7:57 am

I have a relative who had 3 children while in law school and graduated ~#3 in the class this past spring.

The key seemed to be efficient use of time AND active family support. Although social and friendly, time wasn't wasted gossiping/etc between classes, instead it was off to the library. At 4 or 5 the law school day ended, and the rest of the day was spent at home with the rest of the family. The family would deal with the particulars of life (cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, laundry, etc) so law school could remain the primary focus. In the evenings, once the kids were in bed, additional study time was also available if necessary. This schedule gave enough time for school and with the kids.

The family is actually lamenting graduation because "life as a student", with time to hang around the house and be with family, is coming an end and "real life",with its 80 hour work weeks, is beginning.



I would also like to comment on the apparently common idea that it is possible to have a "strategically planned pregnancy". Unless you do IVF, this is ridiculously difficult, especially if coming off of hormonal birth control. For some reason high school health class seems to leave the impression that it is “easy” to get pregnant, it is not. A couple is considered normal if within 12-months of normal “activity” they achieve a single pregnancy. If you want to have a child before you start as an associate, my advice is to start early (in July before law school, for example, so even if you get pregnant right away the later stages won’t affect your 1L performance, which is all that matters anyway). If you try to plan for it to happen during 3L you may be disappointed.




I should note, however, that with a chem PhD, your actual performance in law school will not matter as much as it will to your classmates. Your resume will already have many nice components (publications, presentations, a PhD, etc.), whereas a 22 yo's resume will consist primarily of college graduated from, law school attended, and grades from both. Grades are far more important when there are not other things on the resume to discuss in an interview (please note, however, that some "top" firms do have a law school GPA cutoff, but you will make the same amount base salary even if you do not work at one of these firms). Just as an example, I was told (by multiple current patent lawyers with chem PhDs) that with my chem PhD, if I went to a school such as UNC and ended up around the median I would easily find work making market salary. I actually go to a much higher ranked school, and now I can basically be last in the class and still make a market base salary (based on these same lawyers opinions).

dudesweet
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby dudesweet » Wed Sep 03, 2008 1:03 am

plsgodletmetransfer wrote:Honestly, I have been thinking of having a baby during law school as well. I just can't decide when the best possible time to impregnate someone would be. I am thinking right now would be best, because I would like to do a summer associates for a firm in Paris, and that way I can skip town before the birth, then I am planning on transferring so I would be pretty far away from my baby's momma. Oh yeah, I have this whole thing planned out.


I just have to say that was hilarious.

RTR10
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby RTR10 » Mon Sep 08, 2008 6:49 pm

When I was visiting, my tour guide at the end of the day said that she had one piece of law school advice for me:

"Have a baby during your third year."

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Patrick Bateman
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby Patrick Bateman » Wed Sep 10, 2008 11:25 pm

I have not really combed through the previous replies but avoid having a newborn while studying for the bar at all costs.
It is impossible to envision the time consuming hell that your post-3L summer will be until you get there but trust me on this one. As soon as you have something that is a greater priority than the bar, at least for most people, the odds for failure go way up.

yellow_submarine
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby yellow_submarine » Thu Sep 11, 2008 12:50 pm

My idea was to have a baby BEFORE I go to school. I took my LSAT two days before my due date. :oops:
I am 1L now, and I don't regret my decision so far.

BTW. I go with my life alone: no grannies, no nannies, etc. My husband offers emotional and financial support, but he lives 100 mi from our place now, and comes over for week-ends only. And I also have 3 y.o.
If you have a reliable person to take care of your child, you' ll be fine.

MrGradgrind
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby MrGradgrind » Thu Sep 11, 2008 1:52 pm

The best time to have a baby is never. Children cost way too much money to maintain and would probably take too much effort to raise to be worth the time and money invested. I'd personally rather not share my resources with a child because the key piece of information is that once a person becomes a parent, their only two options are to: 1) be a deadbeat parent (not good) or 2) make the child their #1 priority (good). Obviously, it'd be hard to juggle law and a newborn baby, since babies are effectively helpless and need a lot of TLC.

For that reason, I'm getting a vasectomy before I start law school. Condoms aren't guaranteed to work and people should not trust the woman to take the pill.

littleboyblue
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby littleboyblue » Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:22 pm

yellow_submarine wrote:My idea was to have a baby BEFORE I go to school. I took my LSAT two days before my due date. :oops:
I am 1L now, and I don't regret my decision so far.

BTW. I go with my life alone: no grannies, no nannies, etc. My husband offers emotional and financial support, but he lives 100 mi from our place now, and comes over for week-ends only. And I also have 3 y.o.
If you have a reliable person to take care of your child, you' ll be fine.


are you for real?

bremskraft
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby bremskraft » Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:50 am

Hmmm... I took the LSAT in 2007 with the intention of having a baby in 2008 (after turning 32). I can't imagine having a newborn while taking classes in law school. Establishing breast feeding, bonding, the physical recovery, and the sleep deprivation were extraordinarily time consuming.

I am applying to a law school that has a part-time track to have more time with my child, and if I'm lucky enough to have a second child during law school, I will try to take time off. I should note that I am not interested in a corporate law career, and will be going into minimal debt during law school.

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srb
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby srb » Wed Jan 14, 2009 9:54 am

My Mom had a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old when she started law school, was pregnant with me when she graduated first in her class, and had me one month before the bar.

My Mom kicks ass.

tbrewing
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby tbrewing » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:27 am

One of my classmates is currently overdue and is planning on having the baby this friday. She plans to be back in classes next Tuesday. And plans to bring the baby to class with her for the first couple of weeks. I'm not a fan of babies in the classroom.

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srb
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby srb » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:44 am

tbrewing wrote:One of my classmates is currently overdue and is planning on having the baby this friday. She plans to be back in classes next Tuesday. And plans to bring the baby to class with her for the first couple of weeks. I'm not a fan of babies in the classroom.


Don't worry, when they're that young they're like pooping footballs. No crying necessary.

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screech
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby screech » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:47 am

If you want to do well and are committed to it, go for it! It will take a lot of support, but you won't be sleeping much with law school anyway, and newborns (contrary to popular belief) are really easy until they start to crawl (around 6 months or so). Just feed em, change em, and watch them sleep/play in a bouncer/walker thing.

Best of luck!

nlb238
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby nlb238 » Wed Jan 14, 2009 10:58 am

I'm applying for the fall of 2009 and my son will be about 6 months old when I start law school. He's due in a few weeks! I think it will be hard, but I know others who have done it. I am married and will have a lot of support from my mother, who will probably be living within driving distance. For me, it seemed like a better choice to have a child during law school than when I was just starting my career. Even though my studies may suffer some, I think the more flexible schedule will be better suited to caring for my baby, which becomes your first priority when you're a mother. ;) Each woman would have to make the decision that's right for her, though.

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screech
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby screech » Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:01 am

+1,000,000!!!

littleboyblue
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby littleboyblue » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:01 pm

My friend had a baby during b-school (1st year, second semester). It was unplanned but somehow the timing worked such that she had the baby over the break that is given for interviewing/recruiting so she only missed a day or so of school. She didn't work that summer to hang out with her baby. She was still able to get a job after graduating even without the summer experience given her prior work experience. [Obviously b-school is different - but maybe if you had the baby 1L, you could not work the summer of 1L (or do something part time at non-profit/public interest or research for a prof at home) and work 2L] Anyway, she lived 5 min from school and her mother moved in with her. Her mother brought the baby to school several times during the day to be breast fed and hang out with her. Other times she pumped in the ladies room. It worked for her but it was definitely difficult.

littleboyblue
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby littleboyblue » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:02 pm

srb wrote:My Mom had a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old when she started law school, was pregnant with me when she graduated first in her class, and had me one month before the bar.

My Mom kicks ass.



your mom sounds kick ass. did she work after she graduated? what did she do?

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gpb19
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby gpb19 » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:10 pm

Hubby and I have talked about trying to time it so that we have a baby in the summer between 1L and 2L. That way I can just take that summer off for my 'maternity leave.' He's laid off right now, so it all depends on what kind of job he gets. But I don't think I really like the idea of aiming for 3L, that seems like it would be a lot harder.

casper00
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Re: Having a baby during law school?

Postby casper00 » Wed Jan 14, 2009 12:11 pm

My parents got married during law school. Marriage ended in bitter divorce but the double legacy status may have been the edge I needed to gain admission for the class of 2012.




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