Quotes from Law School Forum

[matt]

"by your third exam you'll be a mess, living on cocaine and candy bars" - civ pro professor

[crystalhawkeye]

Top 25 list for my professors this semester...

Did you actually remember all these or write them down in some gold, law school professors quote book? (If it was the latter, I would like a copy.)

We write some down but there's a girl in my section who complied a lot of them.

She sounds pretty cool. Maybe I'll take the lead in doing that when I get to law school.

...assuming I have profs. who say funny things...

[aguacaliente]

two posts above me -- close. it was amazing to hear him say,

"by the time you get to my exam (our 4th), you'll be a sniveling, quivering, miserable mess of disgustingness. you won't have showered for 10 days and you'll be living on cocaine and candy bars."

[smaakit]

From my Torts prof:

"Suppose I have a python. I invite you over to my house, and not only do I not tell you about a broken faucet, but I ask if you would like to pet my python. Next thing you know, you're being taken away unconscious."

"This is America!! We don't care about the poor!!"

"If you're going to commit a tort against someone, make sure to leave them dead. It's less expensive."

"If it is customary for your co-workers to put an air hose in your rectum, it is not a tort."

[PlusEntity]

I am taking an exam study break and I came to THIS thread for kicks.....and, I've thoroughly enjoyed it! And, I'm fantasizing about being a student in Gladiator's Contract Prof's class! I need a life. Now I get why law students and lawyers are such a "special" breed.

[GodSpeed]

I am taking an exam study break and I came to THIS thread for kicks.....and, I've thoroughly enjoyed it! And, I'm fantasizing about being a student in Gladiator's Contract Prof's class! I need a life. Now I get why law students and lawyers are such a "special" breed.

Wait till you meet engineering students- or any major good at math. We have no lives and we can mathematically prove it.

[matt]

two posts above me -- close. it was amazing to hear him say,

"by the time you get to my exam (our 4th), you'll be a sniveling, quivering, miserable mess of disgustingness. you won't have showered for 10 days and you'll be living on cocaine and candy bars."

even better...

[Pyke]

two posts above me -- close. it was amazing to hear him say,

"by the time you get to my exam (our 4th), you'll be a sniveling, quivering, miserable mess of disgustingness. you won't have showered for 10 days and you'll be living on cocaine and candy bars."

even better...

Cocaine and Candy Bars = C & C.

Criminal Code = C & C.

I'm just studying my C & C's.

[Learning Hand]

[Student reads an excerpt from Marbury v. Madison.]

Prof: "That's a great argument."

Student: "Thank you."

Prof: "I think someone else came up with it first."

[DanielCA]

Haha, that is so awesome. I've decided to start writing down the funny things my profs say as part of my notes.

[Tehpokerstar]

Torts teacher said about exam questions.

"I promise, if you don't change my question, I won't change your grade."

Teacher to student who never stops talking

Teacher: You never know when to pull back
Student: I never pull back
Teacher: That's the difference between us. I know when to pull back.

[macattaq]

Student: Did my question make sense?

K's prof: *laughter*..."I need to put my poker face back on."

[agibson6]

Teacher: "Has anyone ever fasted before?"

Student: "I used to have anorexia, does that count?"

[nickwar]

"She doesn't look like a sloppy drunk..."

-My Civ Pro professor about Shirley Jones -- aka the mother of the Partridge Family

[annapavlova]

"I pull out my .357 and BAM, YOU'RE DEAD! And BAM, YOU'RE dead. You! Bam! You! Bam! You're all dead! NOW what the hell do you think my intent was?"

Crim law professor, using finger-gun to kill the front row of the class.

[Rocky Estoppel]

My torts Professor:

"Give me a reason for why that is....you wouldn't just walk into an ice cream shop and say - "Give me ice cream!", would you? - No, you'd have to give them a flavor."

Blank stare.

[mikeytwoshoes]

Top 25 list for my professors this semester...

Did you actually remember all these or write them down in some gold, law school professors quote book? (If it was the latter, I would like a copy.)

We write some down but there's a girl in my section who complied a lot of them.

She sounds pretty cool. Maybe I'll take the lead in doing that when I get to law school.

...assuming I have profs. who say funny things...

You've been woefully lax so far and you have at least one prof who says funny things.

[mnolen]

Northwestern...the professor is Redish (of Marcus, Redish, & Sherman casebook fame). Another gem:

"You might be thinking, 'Redish, what are you talking about?' Well, first, it's 'Professor Redish' to you...."

Funny, since I have Marcus, and he's rarely laugh-worthy.

[thundy84]

*student argues for the 'social good' in a contracts class*

Professor: "Are you a communist, Mr. [last name]?"

[econtutornv]

From my K's professor while discussing Webb v. McGowin:

Professor: Now let's pretend I'm McGowin and I'm still alive. I come up to my lawyer (pointing at student) and ask "Do I really have to keep on paying this guy?"

Student: I'd say legally no... but... morally you should still pay...

Professor: Morally I should? You're my lawyer, not my priest!

[macattaq]

OMG LOLZ:

There was a judge who basically wanted his bailiffs to serve him hand and foot. One day I was trying a case in front of him and his bailiff called in sick so he had a substitute bailiff. He had already yelled at her twice. When he poured water, he saw that the pitcher was empty. So he yells at the bailiff, in front of the court, "Bailiff, where is my water? We are going to take the morning recess now, and when I come back there had better be some water in my pitcher." So we all filed out of the courtroom, and the bailiff takes the pitcher. I end up right behind her as she goes into the bathroom. She takes the pitcher, scoops water out of the toilet, and put it back on the judge's bench. I wasn't sure if I should say something, but then I thought there was some kind of rough justice going on. [hypo] So then the judge did drink the water. Does that change anything?

[BigAristotle]

Torts Prof. (While trying to draw a graph) "I have no idea, so this is law professor nonsense"

[panda]

im so going to record the hilarious things my professors say now..

this thread is win.

[caoyun]

Professor: "Now moving on..."
Student: "Uh, Professor, I have a question..."
Professor (With Accompanying Death Stare): "I saw your hand. If I wanted to hear your question, I would have called on you. But I don't want to talk about that subject anymore. So I didn't call on you."

The Prof really did make it obvious that he saw the kid and was ignoring him... Some people just can't take a hint.

[panda]

got some today!

"You misspelled eighth. Not something you want to do when addressing the "eighth circuit", you know? In my day, we knew how to spell all the way up to tenth."


"Would you really want to talk to your family and friends like this? Assuming you still have family and friends after a month in law school."

"Is this duty or breach? "
"Duty. "
"No."
"Breach?"
"See? This is the point I was trying to make: it is very easy to make fools out of you."

"Your writings don't have to be a compilation of the works of William Howard Taft, but when you start your memo with "dude, we have a problem" , then, yeah, dude, we have a problem."