Relationships and law school

(Study Tips, Dealing With Stress, Maintaining a Social Life, Financial Aid, Internships, Bar Exam, Careers in Law . . . )
Myself
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Joined: Sat Jun 23, 2012 1:36 pm

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Postby Myself » Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:24 pm

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Last edited by Myself on Tue Nov 19, 2013 11:50 pm, edited 1 time in total.

uvabro
Posts: 405
Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:44 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby uvabro » Tue Jan 29, 2013 12:26 pm

stillwater wrote:this dood is a loser

+ he doesn't like you all that much. he's seeing you as a backup until he becomes a hot shot lawyer and finds someone he deems better. if you're not pushing him to have kids and work yourself, law school wouldn't preclude marriage. how much work is marriage? a healthy relationship is prob less work as women take less time when they're secure, and he has free sex whenever he needs stress relief. + he isn't such a prize. law school doesn't = $..... especially from other schools. also, having a steady girl helps with employment as most partners/senior associates are married, and it shows stability to a region, etc.

fosterp
Posts: 319
Joined: Tue Jun 22, 2010 5:09 am

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby fosterp » Tue Jan 29, 2013 9:43 pm

Doesn't sound like he is really that into you. He's giving you the run around because he is waiting to see if he can do better, or settle with you if he decides he can't.

The "not living together" is convenient for him because he can dictate when you are around on his terms.

portaprokoss
Posts: 218
Joined: Wed Nov 23, 2011 2:40 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby portaprokoss » Tue Jan 29, 2013 11:27 pm

Many people get married or have kids in law school. It's difficult, but not impossible. I think that being married makes school easier. Frankly, there's someone to take care of me and I can just focus on studying. She feels neglected sometimes, but she knows that I do my best to spend some time with her each day.

If I were in your shoes, I would have a calm, mature adult-to-adult conversation with him. Tell him you're willing to sacrifice some of your career prospects for him as his wife, not as his long distance girlfriend. If you do get married over the summer, you won't see a lot of him during the school year, or for his first few years of practice . . . but it's not like he'll be overseas in Afghanistan.

Just give him an ultimatum. It's not reasonable for him to ask you to sit around and wait until he passes the bar to get married.

Besides, if you're hot you can probably marry some dude who is already a lawyer. kaching

MinEMorris
Posts: 228
Joined: Sat Nov 17, 2012 12:26 am

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby MinEMorris » Wed Jan 30, 2013 3:48 am

I definitely think his behavior is strange and that law school isn't a sufficient justification for the sort of space and patience he is requesting you keep. Even Xeoh, one of the most famous try-hard law students on this forum (#1 at UCLA or something) lived with his girlfriend IIRC.

You've been in a relationship with him for five years, so you're certainly going to do a much better job of figuring out what's going on and why he's acting this way than I am. Because of that, I won't bother speculating for you about what he actually thinks or feels. For what it's worth, though, I wouldn't be quick to take anything personally. Some people just don't value relationships after enough time has passed, period. Even if it turns out he is just disinterested, it may have nothing to do with you whatsoever.

I hope you can figure it out soon, relationships are tough. Good luck.

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whosonfirst
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Re: Relationships and law school

Postby whosonfirst » Wed Jan 30, 2013 5:56 am

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Last edited by whosonfirst on Fri Feb 01, 2013 3:37 am, edited 1 time in total.

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acrossthelake
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Joined: Sat May 16, 2009 5:27 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby acrossthelake » Wed Jan 30, 2013 11:43 pm

Law school is nowhere near as difficult as he is telling you it is. Time to move on.

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dresden doll
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Joined: Mon Nov 24, 2008 1:11 am

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby dresden doll » Wed Jan 30, 2013 11:54 pm

My work sucks up much more time than law school ever did.

You sound like a competent and reasonable individual. Unless there's something you haven't told us, he has no legitimate reason for refusing to accommodate your fairly modest request in re: living arrangements. I'd dump him because he definitely appears to be wasting your time.

_crystal_m
Posts: 22
Joined: Wed Nov 28, 2012 6:39 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby _crystal_m » Thu Jan 31, 2013 6:53 pm

My partner and I have been together 9 years (I'm 26 now). 4 of those years were long distance for undergrad. 3 of those years she went to and finished law school (we lived together). One of those years she's been studying for the bar exam. And now I am studying for my lsat.


Hard? Yes. Doable? Yes. Sounds like he's giving you the runaround.

Pokemon
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Joined: Thu Jan 12, 2012 11:58 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby Pokemon » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:15 pm

My girlfriend wanted to move with me while i went to law school, but I was against it. I hated the idea of her leaving the place where she was living, to follow me where I was going to school, and then again where I was going to practice. Felt that was too much of a sacrifice on her part, and I would not do the same if let's say tomorrow she ended up going across the country. I care a lot about a "career" and I want her to be the same. So far it has worked out as a long distance thing.
I have friends who went to law school and were pissed that their gf did not follow them, so I might be the exception.

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BaiAilian2013
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Joined: Sun May 03, 2009 4:05 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby BaiAilian2013 » Thu Jan 31, 2013 7:44 pm

Long distance for 5/6 years is a red flag. Everyone talks about the risk that a long-distance relationship will break up something good, but here is an equally true thing that no one ever says: long distance camouflages bad relationships. Things are great when you see each other a couple times a month, and you both look forward to when you'll be truly together, but then when that is finally in your grasp, somebody hits a wall. Long distance can extend something that would have ended much sooner under normal circumstances.

I get his reluctance to get married before he has a job, but being unwilling to move in together is not a great sign IMO.

Other than the occasional fight, relationships should NOT be hard. I never get why people say that. You know what's hard? Lifting heavy shit and carrying it around. Learning partnership tax. Fighting cancer. A strong relationship is like breathing.

jessemllr
Posts: 19
Joined: Mon Jun 11, 2012 9:14 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby jessemllr » Thu Jan 31, 2013 9:46 pm

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Last edited by jessemllr on Sun Feb 03, 2013 12:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Raiden
Posts: 333
Joined: Wed Jul 25, 2012 8:11 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby Raiden » Sat Feb 02, 2013 11:04 am

As always, take the advice of a forum who do not know you two with a grain of salt. Do what you think would be best. Law school is difficult, but it varies on a person's personality and their life situation. Is he the stressed out type or more relaxed?

But if you are experiencing these difficulties, then this is discussion you should really be sharing with him. You should let him know how you feel otherwise he may have no idea.

Unless he is a TLS member and in this forum...

redgreenpaper
Posts: 100
Joined: Thu Sep 16, 2010 5:03 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby redgreenpaper » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:17 pm

>tfw no gf

>tfw i will never have the chance to post this thread

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paratactical
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Joined: Wed Feb 04, 2009 1:06 pm

Re: Relationships and law school

Postby paratactical » Sat Feb 02, 2013 12:32 pm

DTMFA.




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