Asking for a day off as an SA Forum

[pancakes3]

Something pressing that that people know about a year in advance, blocks out 3+ weekends in August, and enough to override the groom? Yeah. I'm having a tough time thinking of something. Enlighten me? Because I'm thinking of the conversation going something like:

So the summer after 1L, the bride says "Let's do a summer wedding". Groom says "Ok, let's pick a day in August because ::knock on wood:: I'll be doing my SA for June-July and I'd rather not ask for time off." Bride says... ???

[Anonymous User]

I'm the dude getting married. To the original person who suggested that there was more to my situation than meets the eye--thanks.

As those who have planned a wedding in a city know, venues fill up fast. I am getting married during my SA because our first choice venue was all booked up except for a weekend in June and a weekend in July. There was no close second choice. We booked this nearly two years ago, so it's not like we waited till the last minute either. And I'm getting married this this year (and not next year) because the bride couldn't wait, and I'd like to keep her.

Even when we try to make the world revolve around ourselves, it still doesn't. Know the situation before you attack.

[lawschoolftw]

[quote="Anonymous User"]I'm the dude getting married. To the original person who suggested that there was more to my situation than meets the eye--thanks.

As those who have planned a wedding in a city know, venues fill up fast. I am getting married during my SA because our first choice venue was all booked up except for a weekend in June and a weekend in July. There was no close second choice. We booked this nearly two years ago, so it's not like we waited till the last minute either. And I'm getting married this this year (and not next year) because the bride couldn't wait, and I'd like to keep her.

Even when we try to make the world revolve around ourselves, it still doesn't. Know the situation before you attack.[/quote

Only on TLS do people attack someone for wanting to take a Friday off for THEIR OWN WEDDING.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

Only on TLS do people attack someone for wanting to take a Friday off for THEIR OWN WEDDING.

Different scenario than if he were working full time, when it would be impossible to predict which weekend you'd have less on your plate and thus most weekends would be as good as any. The average student does effectively nothing important and inflexible from the end of 1L through their permanent start date, with the exception of being minimally competent on finals for a week every semester and the bar. In that nearly 2.5 year block, the dude selected one of the 10 weeks in which it would be somewhat difficult instead of the 100+ weeks where it would've been really easy because "the bride couldn't wait."

Saying that isn't an attack. No one will miss him for one day, and SAs don't get put on anything important anyway. Heck, I think it's pretty slick to plan it so as to get an excused work day off rather than a Friday in September when you'd otherwise be watching Netflix. Of course the whole thing is inconsequential; people are just pointing out it wasn't unavoidable.

[Anonymous User]

Married guy here again. Not going to defend myself more than this post because, frankly, I don't care.

But there aren't "100 other weeks" where this would have been easy. Do you want to get married in the winter? Would your wife want to get married in the New England winter? Do you have elderly relatives who might not be there too much longer?

You want a wedding in decent weather within 3 years of an engagement, the options slim down. You want to get married at the place your fiance has always wanted to get married, the options slim down further. You want to get married in the few weekends the place has available, the options slim down even further.

Believe it or not (depending on what you're looking for in a wedding and whose interests are involved), these things aren't always as free flowing as you may think. It wasn't particularly nonsensical.

[Monochromatic Oeuvre]

Married guy here again. Not going to defend myself more than this post because, frankly, I don't care.

But there aren't "100 other weeks" where this would have been easy. Do you want to get married in the winter? Would your wife want to get married in the New England winter? Do you have elderly relatives who might not be there too much longer?

You want a wedding in decent weather within 3 years of an engagement, the options slim down. You want to get married at the place your fiance has always wanted to get married, the options slim down further. You want to get married in the few weekends the place has available, the options slim down even further.

Believe it or not (depending on what you're looking for in a wedding and whose interests are involved), these things aren't always as free flowing as you may think. It wasn't particularly nonsensical.

It's weird how you're acting like getting married in the fall, winter or spring (like the majority of people do) is this harrowing option.

There is a difference between an unavoidable conflict and a conflict that doesn't allow you absolutely everything you want. I don't begrudge you your choice, but that's what it is: a choice. Implying that you were forced into this position would be disingenuous.

[TheOnePercent]

Of course the whole thing is inconsequential; people are just pointing out it wasn't unavoidable.

[rpupkin]

Married guy here again. Not going to defend myself more than this post because, frankly, I don't care.

But there aren't "100 other weeks" where this would have been easy. Do you want to get married in the winter? Would your wife want to get married in the New England winter? Do you have elderly relatives who might not be there too much longer?

You want a wedding in decent weather within 3 years of an engagement, the options slim down. You want to get married at the place your fiance has always wanted to get married, the options slim down further. You want to get married in the few weekends the place has available, the options slim down even further.

Believe it or not (depending on what you're looking for in a wedding and whose interests are involved), these things aren't always as free flowing as you may think. It wasn't particularly nonsensical.

It's weird how you're acting like getting married in the fall, winter or spring (like the majority of people do) is this harrowing option.

There is a difference between an unavoidable conflict and a conflict that doesn't allow you absolutely everything you want. I don't begrudge you your choice, but that's what it is: a choice. Implying that you were forced into this position would be disingenuous.

Dude, you are actually doubling down on your argument after the poster explained his circumstances? Fight on, aspie bro.

[Aeon]

Taking a day or two off during your summer associateship should not be a problem at most firms. If it is a problem at your firm, you might want to seriously reconsider working there after graduation.

[lawschoolftw]

Taking a day or two off during your summer associateship should not be a problem at most firms. If it is a problem at your firm, you might want to seriously reconsider working there after graduation.

This. Particularly if it's for your own wedding.

[Anonymous User]

I asked for a day off to sign papers to buy a house. I was super nervous about asking. Turns out there's an official policy that SAs get 1 paid day off; they also mentioned I could take extra days off on an unpaid basis if I needed more days. It was completely not a big deal.

Wedding guy -- take off, not sure why people are freaking out over your choices.

Anniversary person -- don't take off, but not because taking a day off as a SA is some huge no-no, more because I don't think it's normal in any context to take a day off for something like that. It's like people who want to take off for their birthdays... it's just weird.

[AVBucks4239]

So TLS honestly thinks Married Dude will get no-offered (the only negative consequence that matters) for taking ONE DAY OFF for his WEDDING? Please.

Married Dude--be professional, give advance notice to anybody involved (recruiting coordinator, project coordinator, any partners you're working with, etc.). Absolutely nobody will give a shit, and I'm sure since they too are in the interviewing stage, they will be quite supportive. Congrats on your dream wedding. Enjoy it.

[TLSModBot]

I don't think op will get no-offered. But it does show questionable judgment re: life planning and work commitment.

Sure, there are certain things that everybody should get, no question, like wedding and family funerals. But firms don't really care about that - they want people who will get the work done. One day to get married during SA isn't a biggie per se, but op best align himself with the mentality that such exceptions are just that... exceptions. So it's more a worry of how that thought process could conceivably continue once you are in practice.

[dixiecupdrinking]

lol at the very idea that any law firm can't accommodate a completely useless law student taking a day off for ANY reason let alone a wedding. Get a fucking grip people.

[Anonymous User]

But it does show questionable judgment re: life planning and work commitment

Married dude here. I at least entertained (although disagreed) with the other guy who said this was avoidable so long as I had a shittier wedding against the wishes of all involved. But if you're questioning my work commitment or judgment, I just have to "lol."

Also, feel free to throw this right back at me and I'll deserve it, but are you married? Have you ever planned your own large-scale wedding?

[Desert Fox]

I'm just worried you are not taking a honeymoon or prep time. Sounds awful

[AVBucks4239]

I suspect that a high proportion of people vomiting all over themselves and suggesting that married dude is bad at life planning have never worked at a law firm.

[homestyle28]

A lot of this is firm specific. My summer, one SA took like the 2nd week off for her honeymoon, my wife had a kid so I missed firmwide Summer Associate trip and took 3 days off. People got sick, took a day off etc. It's not really a test of "will you give up everything else for the firm" it's a test of "can you deal with real life like a grown up." Talk to your recruiter and/or a Jr. Assoc. from your law school.

[DoubleChecks]

I suspect that a high proportion of people vomiting all over themselves and suggesting that married dude is bad at life planning have never worked at a law firm.

I assumed many were being facetious...

As for OP's question, normally I would say taking a day off for an anniversary during SA time is totally doable and fine. But right after the July 4th long weekend? That is a bit more uhh...just do something a couple days earlier?

That would strike me as odd and if I were asked by the recruiting committee about this, which I sometimes was, I would have not given a favorable response. Or really, it comes down to how much the firm wants you. If they really want you, they will not care at all. If they are kinda looking for a reason to ding you, or you are on the edge, or someone you worked with a lot (think Partner) gave a bad review to you, it is adding fuel to the fire.

I personally would not do it. I have celebrated my wedding anniversaries a day or two off before for various reasons. I don't think it is that taboo...and again, right after the July 4th long weekend?

On a practical note, if you are like most SAs and fit into neither category (really want vs. on the bubble), then few will care or hear about it. But I have seen the gossipy nature of biglaw firms from the associate side and man, it can be brutal sometimes haha. Don't give them a reason.

[smallfirmassociate]

I suspect that a high proportion of people vomiting all over themselves and suggesting that married dude is bad at life planning have never worked at a law firm.

This. Law firms are known to be full of satanic, slave-driving misanthropes, sure, but nobody is going to give this guy shit for taking one day off to get married.

It's just not going to happen.

Period.

(inb4 yeah but it might subconsciously tilt a partner toward thinking blah blah--SHUT UP)

[lawschoolftw]

If you're the kind of person suggesting that Wedding Guy shouldn't have planned his wedding so that he'd have to miss a single day of work, you are setting yourself up to be the partner who works 18 hours a day in his office in a not-so-subtle attempt to avoid having to go home and see his family. You have to prioritize things in life and YOUR OWN WEDDING > pretty much everything. The fact that this has even been a discussion is seriously laughable.

[Desert Fox]

Weddings, Honeymoons, Birth of children, and funeral of close relatives are essentially the only sacred times nobody really makes you do work in biglaw. Even then some pyschopaths will try, some pussies won't stand up for themselves, but you should try.

I still thinking wedding during SA is shitty. You can't take off 3 weeks, so you end up working on both ends. Awful.

When is the wedding? You might be able to get them to move around your dates a bit.

[TLSModBot]

But it does show questionable judgment re: life planning and work commitment

Married dude here. I at least entertained (although disagreed) with the other guy who said this was avoidable so long as I had a shittier wedding against the wishes of all involved. But if you're questioning my work commitment or judgment, I just have to "lol."

Also, feel free to throw this right back at me and I'll deserve it, but are you married? Have you ever planned your own large-scale wedding?

I am married. My wife and I planned our wedding ourselves down to every last detail - no wedding planner (but kept size down because we're introverts and just don't like that many people). We did it the Spring before law school so we could take some time off for honeymoon, etc. Neither of us were super-princessy about location, time of year, etc. which made for way less stress - if you or the SO gotta have dat dream wedding, more power to ya and no judgment, but the 'flexibility over formality' perspective is where I'm coming from. Moreover, I've got 3 kids now - I'm looking down the barrel of an SA myself and am coming fully to grips with the fact that wife and the nanny will see them way more than I will during the summer. It's the cost of BigLaw.

No one at the firm will likely care. An eyebrow may be raised by one or two people, but no one will likely hold it against you. But now that's one time you've done a thing that no one else has yet, and really early in your tenure at the firm. Next time you want to take anniversary off, or kid's after-school thing, etc., you keep upping the risk of becoming 'that guy.' Again, not saying this is definitely you or how you will turn out, but merely that it's one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place. Maybe you'll keep hitting homers forever after. But risk-averse me doesn't plan that way.

[AVBucks4239]

But it does show questionable judgment re: life planning and work commitment

Married dude here. I at least entertained (although disagreed) with the other guy who said this was avoidable so long as I had a shittier wedding against the wishes of all involved. But if you're questioning my work commitment or judgment, I just have to "lol."

Also, feel free to throw this right back at me and I'll deserve it, but are you married? Have you ever planned your own large-scale wedding?

I am married. My wife and I planned our wedding ourselves down to every last detail - no wedding planner (but kept size down because we're introverts and just don't like that many people). We did it the Spring before law school so we could take some time off for honeymoon, etc. Neither of us were super-princessy about location, time of year, etc. which made for way less stress - if you or the SO gotta have dat dream wedding, more power to ya and no judgment, but the 'flexibility over formality' perspective is where I'm coming from. Moreover, I've got 3 kids now - I'm looking down the barrel of an SA myself and am coming fully to grips with the fact that wife and the nanny will see them way more than I will during the summer. It's the cost of BigLaw.

No one at the firm will likely care. An eyebrow may be raised by one or two people, but no one will likely hold it against you. But now that's one time you've done a thing that no one else has yet, and really early in your tenure at the firm. Next time you want to take anniversary off, or kid's after-school thing, etc., you keep upping the risk of becoming 'that guy.' Again, not saying this is definitely you or how you will turn out, but merely that it's one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place. Maybe you'll keep hitting homers forever after. But risk-averse me doesn't plan that way.

So you've planned a wedding, but you haven't even stepped foot in a law office. Stop giving advice about how a law firm will react to an SA asking for a day off to get married when you haven't even been an SA.

Years from now they won't even remember that he took said day off. Just stop.

[TLSModBot]

But it does show questionable judgment re: life planning and work commitment

Married dude here. I at least entertained (although disagreed) with the other guy who said this was avoidable so long as I had a shittier wedding against the wishes of all involved. But if you're questioning my work commitment or judgment, I just have to "lol."

Also, feel free to throw this right back at me and I'll deserve it, but are you married? Have you ever planned your own large-scale wedding?

I am married. My wife and I planned our wedding ourselves down to every last detail - no wedding planner (but kept size down because we're introverts and just don't like that many people). We did it the Spring before law school so we could take some time off for honeymoon, etc. Neither of us were super-princessy about location, time of year, etc. which made for way less stress - if you or the SO gotta have dat dream wedding, more power to ya and no judgment, but the 'flexibility over formality' perspective is where I'm coming from. Moreover, I've got 3 kids now - I'm looking down the barrel of an SA myself and am coming fully to grips with the fact that wife and the nanny will see them way more than I will during the summer. It's the cost of BigLaw.

No one at the firm will likely care. An eyebrow may be raised by one or two people, but no one will likely hold it against you. But now that's one time you've done a thing that no one else has yet, and really early in your tenure at the firm. Next time you want to take anniversary off, or kid's after-school thing, etc., you keep upping the risk of becoming 'that guy.' Again, not saying this is definitely you or how you will turn out, but merely that it's one strike when you didn't have to swing in the first place. Maybe you'll keep hitting homers forever after. But risk-averse me doesn't plan that way.

So you've planned a wedding, but you haven't even stepped foot in a law office. Stop giving advice about how a law firm will react to an SA asking for a day off to get married when you haven't even been an SA.

Years from now they won't even remember that he took said day off. Just stop.

I also have 9 years experience working in the legal field with a number of Biglaw firms as my day-to-day clients, as opposed to, what, generally 1-3 years in a single firm's culture that the 'experienced' greybeards here usually boast? Bitch, please.

Edit: Not claiming to be an expert on all things BigLaw but having worked as a professional in the field for close to a decade, I can speak with experience how people get treated differently for stupid shit. I've seen some awesome associates (usually female) get passed over for good opportunities because of getting the perception (usually wrongly) that they didn't care about the job enough.

Sorry for my concern or voicing an opinion grounded in experience.