Wisconsin: She's not your first pick, by any means. She is the girl you end up with after all the other girls turn you down. She sounds really good on paper, like the kind of girl you could just settle for. She has good aspects, like she is funny, and has a huge ass. However, she is boring, a little dumb, has this annoying accent that makes me think she is damn near Canadian, and her face is nothing you would write a one page paper about why you liked her. You just know she would love you, and you wouldn't have to try very hard. However, the rest of her keeps her out of the top 30 girls you want to be with. She is cold, lives in a good neighborhood, but one with no appeal of living in for more than 3 years. And for her mid level attractive-ness, she asks way too many questions, like did I grow up in a rurally isolated environment, or making me explain time I took off in college. I'm sure she is hot enough to do this in Wisconsin, where she is hot shit. But she doesn't realize I could get much better play with severely less work. She realizes she needs me, and buys me stuff. Still, this all compounds the fact that I am better than her, and I don't need to put up with all of this ultra-needy bullshit. I'm not sure if I want to move out of her apartment, because the location puts me close to some real jobs.
All in all, I enjoy spending time with Wisconsin, knowing it could be worse, but the entire time I can't stop thinking about trying to hook up with some of her nearby friends, considering I would get rid of her like day old Chinese food if one of them would give me the time of day. I do know that I could give her herpes and she would still take me back.
Northwestern: Yes Northwestern, I have MySpace stalked you. I feel like we could be so good together. I love that John Mayer song too! I really don't, but I tell you I do. I tell you exactly why I love you so much. And I've seen the guys you like. I'm so close to them, and I just wish I could show you that. But I can agree, that you are really too good for me. I'm better than them, I swear! I'm not socially awkward, I just didn't work hard enough in UG. I would make sure you don't have to ever pay for anything, I've got it all. I would work my ass of in this relationship. I've even have years of full time work at 24, just like you like. But you still don't call me back. You haven't even added me as a friend, and I see you have been online. At least twice a day. For the past month. You hadn't met me before, but when I proposed to you, you just acted like I wasn't there. I know you are better than me, but this is bullshit! FUCK YOU! (Please go out with me. I keep waiting by the phone and checking my email 30 times a day. I know you want to talk to me. I even check my other email accounts, in case you accidentally got an email address I didn't give you)