i am always in love

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dresden doll
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Re: i am always in love

Postby dresden doll » Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:09 pm

Lem37 wrote:
Richard_Petty wrote:Ole Miss: The charming, naturally beautiful heiress who'll happily birth 5 of your kids and cook every weekend of football season for you and all your friends. Will never bring up the fact that her dad has way more money than you ever will or that you drink too much. She'll run a business out of her house that she tells her friends is just for spending money but in actuality pays all the bills because you and your law school buddies decided to open your dui defense law office out of a bar. She will never look older than your average Miss America at 26. She will also tell you how to single-handedly take down the tobacco companies and let you take all the credit.



Wow. Just...wow.

I understand (and appreciate) that this thread is a joke, but I think that this description single-handedly regressed women's rights 60 years. ;)


+1. I think the thread's cool but that's a little much for me too.

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Wed Feb 04, 2009 2:39 pm

Stanford, the drop dead gorgeous rich California girl, who if you played your cards right, you could win her.

economist1707
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Re: i am always in love

Postby economist1707 » Wed Feb 04, 2009 3:18 pm

Since I don't have the T-14 numbers I think I'll try one a little more relevant to the rest of us out there...

So you've been hooking up with the same average sorority girl for the past four years and have decided what better way to spread your wings than have a party at your house. You set up the beer pong table because apparently college girls go crazy for guys with good beer ponging skills. You practice before the party and nail almost every cup so you figure nothing can stop you tonight from hooking up with at least an SMU (who is only hot because her rich dad bouth her fake boobs) or Baylor (who's father is a priest and so it would be kinky) at the party. Party starts and of course women of all types somehow manage to find out that you are on the prowl tonight. You see the group of incredibly rich and intelligent top sorority girls like Harvard and Yale walk in and decide that its not worth your time to talk to them because they only talk to guys that can make all 6 cups in six shots. You try to justify every reason not to at least ask one of them to play with you (they'll cost you too much in the long run, you don't want to move to the Northeast with the rest of their family if you did get married, etc.) so you decide they are better left for someone else in the long run anyways. Texas looks pretty good tonight and you can talk about how you already have so much in common with her so you ask her to play and for some reason you can't make a single cup. You say to yourself, "Why does something as stupid as beer pong decide whether or not I hook up with this girl. I mean I have practiced and can do decently well in my own time, so why am I failing now." Texas immediately turns you down and you tell her to go eff herself under your breath. When you play with Baylor and she says that since you made 2 cups you can only touch her boob. You are still waiting on SMU to get done talking with every other douche who keeps telling her they are better beer pong players than you. Finally when you get a chance and tell her that not only are you a decent beer pong player but you were really involved on campus she tells you that she has hears this story everytime she plays beer pong and that you are no different from the rest. Finally your old four year hook up tells you that she will hook up with you tonight if no one else will and you really don't want to because you have been doing this for the past 4 for years!!! Sigh...Maybe other chicks will show up and you can show off your beer pong skills to them, but they wll probably put you on a waitlist and not call you after all...

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ramblinwreck
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Re: i am always in love

Postby ramblinwreck » Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:46 pm

Bump

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Skadden Stairs
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Re: i am always in love

Postby Skadden Stairs » Wed Feb 04, 2009 4:48 pm

why was this bumped?
wth

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Wed Feb 04, 2009 5:22 pm

Another love that gets me hot and bothered is The University of Chicago, cold as hell on the outside, but very warm and sensual when you get to know her and she falls for you as well.

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ruraljuror
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Re: i am always in love

Postby ruraljuror » Wed Feb 04, 2009 9:54 pm

K, I'll give it a shot:

And then there's Syracuse; he's not hot, he doesn't call, and you wonder why you gave him your number anyway. The longer you go without hearing from him, the more annoyed you are that you even bothered to give him the time of day. Who does he think he is? But really, you're only annoyed when you bother to think about it, which isn't very often.

No, you're too preoccupied with thoughts of W&L, the quiet, Southern guy with the nice smile. He always opens the door for you, and you think that there could be a future between the two of you. But he's kind of hard to read, and it's possible that he's just not that into it. You wonder what's on his mind, but think that maybe he's just a little too shy.

Richmond certainly isn't shy - you appreciate that he came right up to you as soon as you entered the party, and told you that he's interested. He seems confident and smart, and he definitely has a nice local job. The only problem is that you see him buying drinks for other girls, and he still hasn't asked you what you'd like to drink.

Uh oh, you've been spotted, here comes Quinnipiac again. Where did he get the idea that you'll go home with him? He always comes up to you at these things and goes on and on about how he'd love to buy you anything you want, and tries to get you drunk. You're insulted that he thinks you're easy, until you see him pull the same thing with the girl standing next to you.

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seraphita
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Re: i am always in love

Postby seraphita » Thu Feb 05, 2009 12:00 am

Chicago: His intellect was truly frightening. On our first (and only) date, I was stunned into an awed silence as he scribbled game theory equations on a napkin, attempting to explain an article he had just published in an economics journal. Frustrated by my lack of mathematical competency, he changed the subject to Raoul Berger's constitutional interpretation. I stammered a few pathetic monosyllables in reply. He began to check his watch.

To be perfectly honest, his brilliance was all that attracted me to him. He was arrogant and cold; locks of his brown hair were always falling over his eyes, as he apparently could not cease reading long enough to get a haircut; and he was far too thin for my taste. Still, I made out with him later that night, only to be dismissed from his presence at precisely eight-thirty. "I need a book from the law library before it closes," he said as he avoided my pleading gaze. By the time I returned home that night, I already had a voicemail message from him, telling me that it just wouldn't work out.

Northwestern: Much more attractive than Chicago. His black hair was always neatly clipped, though not too short, and his cheeks were an adorable rosy color. He liked to describe himself as a "down-to-earth Midwesterner," and when he wasn't at the office, he usually wore sweatshirts, perhaps to cover up the fact that he was slightly stocky. (But he did look stunning in a suit.) Though he was almost as intelligent as Chicago, he was not as academically inclined, preferring to devote his intellect to more practical pursuits. I think he really liked me, but his professional life was so hectic that he eventually asked me if we could "take things slow, maybe sort of put commitment 'on hold' for a while." My feelings for him were too strong to allow such torturous uncertainty, so I reluctantly called it quits.

UIUC: I suspect he had a lower-paying job than Northwestern, but you never would have guessed it from the way he wined and dined me at the best restaurants in town. I only surmised it from the way he sometimes looked a bit anxious when he pulled out his wallet to cover our hundred-dollar tabs. Still, he earnestly rejected my every offer to pay the bill or split the tab. After a few weeks of courtship, he began to press me for a serious commitment; but for some reason, my instincts advised against it. I tried to let him down easy, informing him that he was just "too nice" and that I didn't want to "ruin the friendship." But niceness was never really the obstacle; after all, if Northwestern had only been nicer, I would have been the happiest woman alive. At any rate, UIUC lived too far away.

Notre Dame: I suppose I had no real reason to draw out this relationship as long as I did. After all, ND was not as brilliant as Chicago, or as handsome and worldly as Northwestern, or as generous as UIUC. Still, he had been there for me long before any of the others, and he had a certain je ne sais quoi that kept me coming back. The Irish eyes, perhaps? My parents had actually heard of him, and said that he came from "a good family." We used to have totally geeky discussions of Aquinas and Grotius' natural law theories on our way to church. But big city life eventually sucked me in, and I just didn't know if I could go back to rural Indiana and be a good Catholic wife.

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fluffy
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Re: i am always in love

Postby fluffy » Thu Feb 05, 2009 5:07 pm

pretz wrote:Loyola LA: He's the well-dressed, short, kind of ugly guy in the bar who hangs out with all the hot guys but knows that all he has to offer is money. He'll come up to you and offer to buy you the most expensive drink in the bar but then you have to be seen with him and you would much rather be seen with his hot brother who lives in the better part of LA. In the end, you would settle for him because all the money and fancy car stuff is tempting but you would drop him in a heartbeat for his smarter, more attractive, and more successful brother. The worst part is that he knows that all along...


SPOT ON. :mrgreen:

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Thu Feb 05, 2009 7:10 pm

Baylor, the pinch ass chick who perpetually has an aspirin tablet between her knees. However, her hot as hell sister SMU will take your ass for a wide ride and kick you to the curb. One must keep both of them in perspective.

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landman
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Re: i am always in love

Postby landman » Fri Feb 06, 2009 5:22 pm

Someone suggested a different take, from a schools perspective. Here's mine:

LSU: You might say I’m not the typical bombshell; I'm a down to earth beauty. I know I don’t generally attract the boys who will go for East Coast and Ivy League schools. The funny thing is, in Louisiana, a lot of boys would rather come home with me than venture a glance up North. Many of them are good ol' boys who know that in this state, going to LSU is as good if not better than coming from Harvard. I'm from a very well established family in the South, we have a long history of political, industrial and business influence, if mostly in our own state. I’m not insecure about that, I just know my context. I may put out a little, but it's just to get what I want. My track record is hit and miss.

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Fri Feb 06, 2009 6:29 pm

Florida Coastal, the new girl in class who is pretty, but shy and not real condident yet. She will show here insecurities, but you know that this is what makes her attractive. She isn't a Super model, but you would be proud to be seen anywhere with her. University of Miami, the very high tempered Latina who will straighten hard headed Rednecks like me out toot suite ! Both Florida schools and both very appealing damsels, one must be strong to woo them, otherwise they will leave you soooo far behind.

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gilchristh
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Re: i am always in love

Postby gilchristh » Mon Feb 09, 2009 3:30 am

K, so this might be slightly off-topic, but I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" yesterday. And after applying to ten schools, none of which I've heard from yet (granted, my apps are just now going complete)... I'm starting to feel like I'm the psycho girl and law school is the guy who's not calling me. I cyberstalk him, I check my voicemail, I call my old roommate to see if he's sent me anything in the mail, I look at the other girls he's calling, and I make excuses for him ("maybe he's too intimidated by me", "maybe he doesn't know I'm interested", etc.)

Is law school just not that into me?

crazy_zoologist
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Re: i am always in love

Postby crazy_zoologist » Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:44 am

gilchristh wrote:K, so this might be slightly off-topic, but I went to see "He's Just Not That Into You" yesterday. And after applying to ten schools, none of which I've heard from yet (granted, my apps are just now going complete)... I'm starting to feel like I'm the psycho girl and law school is the guy who's not calling me. I cyberstalk him, I check my voicemail, I call my old roommate to see if he's sent me anything in the mail, I look at the other girls he's calling, and I make excuses for him ("maybe he's too intimidated by me", "maybe he doesn't know I'm interested", etc.)

Is law school just not that into me?



:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Mon Feb 09, 2009 11:10 am

Northwestern, the sophisticated Big City girl that requires you to bring your very best "A" game to even be in her presence. One must be a class act with this formidable women or forget about it !

bizzlemywizzle
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Re: i am always in love

Postby bizzlemywizzle » Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:55 pm

texaslawyer wrote:Baylor, the pinch ass chick who perpetually has an aspirin tablet between her knees. However, her hot as hell sister SMU will take your ass for a wide ride and kick you to the curb. One must keep both of them in perspective.


aspirin tablet between her knees? is this an idiom from the 1970s or whatever decade in which you were in your 20s? are you on drugs all the time?

bizzlemywizzle
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Re: i am always in love

Postby bizzlemywizzle » Mon Feb 09, 2009 5:58 pm

texaslawyer wrote:Do Florida because she is a hot bikini beach babe ! Approachabe as well ! :D


is anyone else disturbed that someone as old as my dad would write something like this?

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:37 pm

Lighten up hoss !

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dailygrind
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Re: i am always in love

Postby dailygrind » Mon Feb 09, 2009 6:53 pm

texaslawyer wrote:Northwestern, the sophisticated Big City girl that requires you to bring your very best "A" game to even be in her presence. One must be a class act with this formidable women or forget about it !


This doesn't really distinguish NU from any other good LS though. I think someone else already said it, but NU would be the girl that likes her men older and more experienced.

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IAFarmGirl
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Re: i am always in love

Postby IAFarmGirl » Mon Feb 09, 2009 7:23 pm

dailygrind wrote:
texaslawyer wrote:Northwestern, the sophisticated Big City girl that requires you to bring your very best "A" game to even be in her presence. One must be a class act with this formidable women or forget about it !


This doesn't really distinguish NU from any other good LS though. I think someone else already said it, but NU would be the girl that likes her men older and more experienced.

NU: not afraid of STDs, ex-wives or step-motherhood.

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ruraljuror
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Re: i am always in love

Postby ruraljuror » Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:20 pm

IAFarmGirl wrote:
dailygrind wrote:
texaslawyer wrote:Northwestern, the sophisticated Big City girl that requires you to bring your very best "A" game to even be in her presence. One must be a class act with this formidable women or forget about it !


This doesn't really distinguish NU from any other good LS though. I think someone else already said it, but NU would be the girl that likes her men older and more experienced.

NU: not afraid of STDs, ex-wives or step-motherhood.




Awesome!

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etwake
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Re:

Postby etwake » Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:32 pm

i dont even know wrote:NYU- I met NYU at a bar downtown and she was wearing a Led Zepplin shirt with ripped jeans. We were both playing pool. She wasn't very good but kept giving every one advice. At the end of the night NYU invited me home. I was surprised that she still lived at home with her parents in the suburbs. They had a standard poodle named "Percy." NYU's room was what she called an "apartment" above her parents garage. I asked NYU if she had any condoms and she said "dont worry my tubes are tied." In the morning her mom made me waffles while her dad talked to me about professional football. NYU looked emarassed.


I know its old, but Hilarious nonetheless

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rightthat
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Re: i am always in love

Postby rightthat » Mon Feb 09, 2009 10:59 pm

Just read through this entire thread ... awesome! Especially the first half dozen pages or so.

Anyone reading this who needs a good laugh: I suggest you start from the beginning.

texaslawyer
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Re: i am always in love

Postby texaslawyer » Tue Feb 10, 2009 11:41 am

Yes Northwestern does probably like older men, however they better be up for the challenge. It can me a good match give that the older man doesn't constantly speak of the "Good Old Days", which weren't. Frankly everyone may think I'm old school, to each their own.

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gilchristh
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Re: i am always in love

Postby gilchristh » Thu Feb 12, 2009 4:29 pm

texaslawyer wrote:Baylor, the pinch ass chick who perpetually has an aspirin tablet between her knees. However, her hot as hell sister SMU will take your ass for a wide ride and kick you to the curb. One must keep both of them in perspective.


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